We Wuv VW

Alif loves VW Bugs. He drove a yellow one sometime back before we were united in holy matrimony. Or before we actually even knew each other. By the time we were locking lips, he was driving a VW Passat, which was the biggest money-waster of a car ever. Ahem. ANYway. We have a free membership to the local museum through our charter school, and when they announced that there would be a VW car show, I knew we'd go, and today was the day. Alif stayed home to work on the kids' cars for boxcar night at Awana (more on that tomorrow or Monday) so it was just the kids and I, which was perfect, for I have a plan. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to snap some pics of the kids with VWs and create a calendar for Alif's Birthday, which is next month. Shhh - don't tell him!!
This one guy had all these totally awesome VW toys. Couldn't you just eat them??
Alif also loves Coca-Cola - both to drink and to collect.
"Luigi's Piano Tuning - we can tune your piano, but we can't tuna fish"
Daddy's boy, so supportive!
The looking and not touching rule was tricky to enforce with Sir 2-Year-Old.Graham totally dug this one with the flames. Niiice!

Travel

My friend Alison goes on adventures all the time with her kids. For a long time I thought she was very lucky to have so many neat things so close to where she lives. Then I realized that hey, there's a ton of cool stuff near me too - I just don't often pay a ton of attention to it because I grew up here.

Well, Lynette asked last week if I'd like to go hiking in a nearby mountain community. Would I ever!! Today we loaded up our minivans, piled in the kids and moseyed up the mountain! It is such a beautiful drive, and from our front door to parking in a hiking area, it took 45 minutes.

We knew it would be a little chillier where we went, but we were super surprised (and the kids so happy) that there was snow on the ground, and quite a bit of it!

This is one of those wrong-in-every-way shots that I totally love anyway . . . I was telling Lynette today how I often focus on close-ups but some like this are nice to remind me of Canaan's little-ness.
This was right when we got there. Notice any certain gender divisions? LOL
I am pretty sure this was Canaan's first time seeing snow. He declared it "YUMMY!"
Caris was pouting in this picture but she's just so beautiful anyway . . .
Speaking of beautiful, how angelic is Emma?

Unclogged Creative Energy

This is what my desk area looked like two days ago. Let's take a little tour. On top we have fabric, papers, mementos etc. When someone asks, "Where do you want this?" The answer is almost always, "on my desk." Not a good plan! Under the desk we have books to list on eBay, which were in a box nice and neat but yesterday the box was stolen by a child, so they were all on the floor. Not a good place for books about to be sold! Then in the middle there's a bunch of fabric, most of which I no longer want. The sewing machine is in front because I use it so much. To the right we have a corkboard waiting to be remodeled, the dog food bin and the trash can. And under it all, one ugly linoleum. And let's not forget my hideous wall. There's the chart we're filling in to show how much the boys have earned toward camp and a couple holes that dh never filled when he filled in a doorway into this room that we no longer needed.

Here is the after shot - for now. The sewing machine will mostly be on the desk, not under it. The basket is Mom's inbox, which as you can see is rather full right now. The file container is totally revamped and has files for all the types of papers I normally deal with. The rest of our paper storage is in Alif's office, so I don't need much at my desk, which is in the kitchen.

Once I finished cleaning that out, and after some cleaning the kids and I did yesterday, I started to feel very creative! I am really surprised by how much my creativity has been squelched by the clutter. I guess it's just too much weighing on my mind when there's always something waiting to be done. My house certainly isn't perfect right now but it's neat enough that my mind has been free today to think about what direction I want to take my decorating.

I am sooooo inspired by this kitchen makeover. It's exactly what I want for my home. Simple, stylish, comfortable and finished-looking. I like a lot of open space, not a lot of knick-knacks, and yet I still want our home to have a personality. I want my home to be fun, casual, stylish, funky, fresh, clean, and inviting. I love how Olive Oyl chose a couple of colors and went with them, and kept it minimal so that the finished result is polished and sleek with a definite style. Yeah - that is JUST what I am after!

So where to go for inspiration?? What are the colors I want to live with? I like bold patterns, bright colors, cool colors (as opposed to warm) . . . My problem is that I can see three different color schemes and fall in love with every one of them. What to DO? Which one will feel like ME?

I went online to Strawberry Patches and perused her online fabric catalog. Look at the cutie inspirational pieces I found!

I'm not sure about actually using this one, but it's got the feel I want. Airy, fresh, fun . . .

This one I like, but again, not sure about actually using it.
This one I can definitely see myself using. It's a bold splash of color and I think I'd love it in a small dose - maybe a valance in my kitchen window?

Now that my home is getting less cluttered, and I can feel a vision coming on, I can't wait to make it happen!!

Kids are funny.

I bought some Axe shampoo for Malachi last week, because there was a rebate through Walgreens that made it free. I was sort of appalled at the suggestive labeling on the package, but when Lynette smartly told me to peel it off, I took a second look and voila, it DOES come right off! So yay, free shampoo that smells nice and works well on his hair. After he washed his hair with it the first time, he walked by Caris and she said, "oooh, that smells manly!" :-D

Just now I heard:
Caris: Canaan, wanna come watch me poop?
Canaan: YEAH!!

I am brilliant, I say!

Last year I planted a lovely garden: tomatoes in three varieties - or was it four? Bell peppers, jalapenos, artichokes, cantaloupe, yellow squash and zucchini. You can imagine our wonderful bounty - NOT!

I'm not sure what the problem was, but my two theories are that our soil stinks and that the area I planted doesn't get enough sun.

So! I made a new plan for this year. My plan involved container planting and scoping out my yard to figure out which parts actually DO get plenty of sun. The containers I had in mind were galvanized steel tubs, which I thought would make adorable planters but which Alif does not want me to destroy by way of will-rust drainage holes. Well, boo. But wait! Raised beds - yes, raised beds would be even better!

So now. I drew up a diagram of our yard. I made several copies. Then I set out at 10 am and colored all the sunny parts with a yellow crayon and all the shady parts with a purple crayon. I repeated the procedure at 12 pm.

Then I came in and showed Alif my handiwork. He was curious so I explained what the colors represent and said, "The sun shifted!". His face instantly turned to sarcasm-central and he said, "You're kidding! You don't say!" Now, I know general wisdom dictates that sarcasm is rude but it makes me laugh, and laugh I did. Well, that set him off. He said, "You would really have been something back when!" Then, in deep voice as though he were presenting someone strangely fabulous: "The world is not flat! The sun mooooves!"

Maybe it's just my strange sense of humor but I was literally doubled over laughing with tears in my eyes. Ha!

The week's over already?

This week went by quickly! We had a nice week, though. One day we went out to the local zoo. We were supposed to go with friends, but their baby was sick so we were on our own. I can't say I was thrilled with this idea as we really really love our friends. BUT! Once we were there - driving out there, even - I realized how long it had been since I'd done something like this just for fun with only my kids. It reminded me how much fun they are to be around and how nice it was for them to have my undivided attention. I definitely plan on more solo outings soon.
Malachi especially enjoyed the coyote exhibit.
Canaan was a big boy and walked on his own the whole hour and a half we were there. Ran, more like - at one point, he ran straight through a cactus patch. Oops! Thankfully, he wasn't hurt.
Caris loves animals of all sorts. It seems like every little girl dreams of becoming a veterinary at some point, and Caris is no exception.
Graham made sure he was ready with his camera AND extra batteries.
Today I finished a set of new napkins for us out of my favorite fabric EVER!
Poor Canaan was up most of last night coughing and feverish and nursing literally every hour. He's just a little tired today.
Can you tell? Here's to a better night's sleep tonight!

Job Description

My 3 big kids go to classes at our charter school on Wednesday mornings, and drop-off/announcement time is always a fun time for me to connect with the other moms. As I left this past Wednesday, I walked past a mom who looked very natural and fit. She had on a t-shirt and knee-length khaki shorts and tennis shoes with ankle socks.

I don't know why, but when I looked at her it hit me:

Taking care of myself is part of the job description.

When my husband married me I was fit as a fiddle. I worked out regularly and took good care of my body and my appearance. Four kids and too many snacks later, and I seriously have not maintained the same level of care.

The good news is that last week I started a walking plan that I saw in my Weight Watchers magazine. It's an 8-week program that basically takes you from a total couch potato to a regular 30-minutes-a-day (4 days a week) exerciser in 8 weeks. It's VERY gradual. Last week I walked 5 minutes on the treadmill and did 10 jumping jacks. This week it's 10 minutes on the treadmill plus 2 minutes jogging.

I did it Monday - well, we walked about an hour with our friends and I jogged 2 minutes on the way home. Tuesday my knees were really hurting. I told my friend Liz and she said to do 2 lunges on each leg each time I exercise, so I did that yesterday and today. I did the workout again yesterday and today and thankfully my knees are feeling good.

I added one other element into the workout yesterday: at the end, once I was done with the walking and jogging and stretching and lunges, I said from my heart, "Thank you, Lord." How blessed I am to be ABLE to exercise. To have a treadmill at home, so if the weather outside is frightful, I can still walk. To have walking shoes to wear. To have children who play nicely while I exercise (ahem - most of the time).

One other thing I'm thinking is that my shoes are seriously old and I need new ones. When I get the new ones, I'm going to make a chart that will have 400 boxes. I'll mark off a box every time I walk a mile, which will be a fun way to track how many miles I go as well as remind me when it's time to buy a new pair of walking shoes.

Quick on the Draw

Warning to all potential babysitters . . . Canaan can color like nobody's business. He colors without discrimination. See? Walls . . . Bunk beds . . .
Doors . . .
Non-painted archways . . . (maybe a good reason to FINALLY paint them?)
And oh, my baby - my sweet leather couch . . .
Seriously . . .
Daddy? Just in case you ever forget where to charge your cell phone, I have drawn you a fine path . . .
Lord help us!

Seeking Family Portrait-Taker

We haven't had a family portrait done in a while, and I saw these inspirational ideas in Romantic Homes magazine . . . See how we could rig up Christian and Canaan like the babies on the top left and they would not be at all scared or worried up there? Surely they would also not pee or poop on us at any point. And my Mom would sit with a headpiece on reading to Kate, and Jason and Alif would definitely love wearing togas from the waist down only. I know that Malachi, Caris and Graham would willingly don cherub wings and recline in the front there, and Rod would be the doting Grandfather kissing Kate's little foot. What about Megan and I, though?

Here we go! It's all complete!

And if you need a serious laugh, grab your Mom and a copy of Romantic Homes and go hog wild making fun of the decorating in there. One warning, though: you will likely be seriously tired when you're finished.

Stupid PEANUTS!!

So we're going to a class on Wednesday nights at a church in town, not the church we normally attend. The first night I talked to the person in charge of Caris' age group to let them know she is allergic to nuts, and they assured me that they were already a peanut-free zone. Awesome!

Last week Alif picked her up after class and when we met up, he told me that there had been a peanut "incident". Apparently her age group had done a craft including peanuts, and Caris saw the peanuts and asked her leader if they were real. When she was told that they were real, she left the craft room and went back to her own room. Her face was broken out a bit but nothing terrible.

Well. Yesterday she woke up with hives all over her tummy and back, and the rest of her body was so extremely broken out. I asked her again to tell me the whole story and come to find out, the kids had brought their peanut crafts back to the classroom with them. So. My peanut-allergic daughter was breathing in peanuts for a good portion of the class.

Today I noticed that a couple of the open sores had (cover your eyes if you're squeamish) pus in them. As the day went by, more and more little blisters were popping up with pus inside. Off to the urgent care, where they said she was infected (really? LOL) and tested her for MRSA and put her on oral and topical antibiotics.

Oh Lord please, please, please heal my precious daughter. PLEASE.

my eyes! MY EYYYYEEEESS!!!!!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

I have a problem. It isn't a cute problem, like "I'm addicted to conversation hearts" (though I am) or "I jog too much" (I don't). It's a real, serious, ugly problem.

Fear. I really struggle with fear. You know that Jeremy Camp song that's popular right now? "There will be a day with no more fear, no more pain, no more tears" That song touches me. I love my life but the thought of living with Jesus someday and suffering no more? Pretty cool.
Though I won't describe it just in case anyone reading also has a fear problem, there is one particular image that has haunted me as long as I can remember. It just shows up in my mind sometimes and makes me quiver with fear inside. I hate it.
So I was watching TV last night and nothing was really on, so I was watching America's Next Top Model, a decidedly ridiculous but un-scary show. Imagine my horror, then, when a commercial came on for some awful show or movie and the very image, the one from my imagination, showed up on my screen. I turned my head quickly but it was too late. The image was already cemented in my mind. "I hate this stupid TV" I thought, "Why do we have to have this? Why do I sit here and allow my mind to be assaulted night after night?"

Indeed. Why DO I do this to myself? Why don't I just GO TO BED or play cards with Alif or cozy up and read or sew or meditate or play Wii or ANYTHING but allow the assault of my mind and morals, night after night after night?

"Because in the midst of the yuck, there's good stuff!" Oh really? GOOD stuff? Or ENTERTAINING stuff?

If my kids asked to go to a keg party and assured me there would be good punch there, fun games, nice kids . . . would I say, oh yeah, go for it! There's a lot of good in that keg party, my precious child! Have at it!

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:11-12

I don't know what my conclusion is. There are things I really like to watch on TV, and very rarely, there ARE good things on. But at what cost? We don't even have cable - the commercials that cause me grief are on regular network TV channels. I guess it's time to seek the Lord on this one.

Iron-ons and other fun

My kitchen had been seriously out of control lately, and this past weekend Alif went to Mexico with our church to build a house, so while he was gone I tackled that kitchen whole-heartedly. I went through every cupboard, cleared off the top of the fridge and just really sorted it out. It is AWESOME to go in and have room to work!! Now if we could just remodel it . . . ;-)

This is a verrrry common scene in my home. Canaan and Malachi share some serious brotherly love and they cuddle up like this several times a day.

I love personalized shirts. My favorites are the darling embroidered types, but as I told Lisa today when I ran into her at Target, four kids times 2-3 (or more) shirts means that iron-ons are more often the way to go. I nab pictures from anywhere I want online and hope I don't ever offend anyone. They're just for my own personal use so I think it's probably ok. If you are gonna do this, make sure that when you print you click "mirror image" so that any words in your design print properly.

These are all for Canaan. My favorite is the "Yes, I'm still nursing" one and hey - I created that design all by my OWN self. Yay me! I also love the Robot one that says "For today I am a robot". Cute!

Do you get Everyday Food magazine? I loooove it and seriously I make probably 5 or more recipes out of every copy. Today I made this cocoa popcorn as an afternoon snack and it was a huge hit. Pop up some popcorn (10 cups popped), drizzle with a couple tablespoons of melted butter (or smart heart fakey stuff, which is what I used). Stir it up and then sprinkle on a mixture of 2 tablespoons sugar and 2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder. Stir up again and - mmmmm.

The Escapee

At first I thought it was a fluke. There was a big cardboard car next to the crib, so I thought it emboldened him and that it wouldn't happen again. Even after 2 or 3 times of him joining me after his nap, just coming on downstairs . . . I still thought it wasn't really happening. Maybe. Then I thought I'd put him in and TELL him to get out. Here's what I saw:

He's my first crib-climber-outer. I guess it's time to move him into a twin bed. WAH! My baby's growing up!!

The One Thing

Last night was a very silly night at AWANA - Potato Head night. The kids, as you can see, all decorated a potato and brought it to club. Caris did hers as Daddy, and it's 2-sided - a happy side and a mad side. How hard did I laugh at Alif? Ha! Caris assured him that he displays the happy side much more than the angry one. (Still laughing.) Malachi carved his like a pumpkin and didn't like it, so Graham came to the rescue, decorating a red potato for him. Malachi was thrilled when his friend Daniel declared red potatoes the most delicious potatoes in the world. Graham's top-hat-with-rock-hair potato wins the prize in my mind. LOVE it.

I'm the T&T Girls Director in our club, and last night was my night to teach. I was excited about the lesson and hoping my enthusiasm would shine through my tiredness. I was praying for this when we started worship. The first two songs were active and fun - perfect! The last song was a slow, beautiful one, and I thought - uh oh, energy's gonna go doooooowwwwwnnn . . .

Then I heard the kids' voices. Amazing grace . . . how sweet the sound . . . amazing love . . . comes flowing down . . . I saw their eyes closed, focusing away from each other and the potatoes and everything else and zoning in on their Lord. From hands and feet . . . that were nailed to the tree . . . your grace flows down and covers me . . .

I'll admit it. I had a moment. A Mom moment. And you know what? I didn't even keep it private. Worship ended and I took my place in front of the kids, and I just let my mushy moment rip.

I told the kids that when a Christian Mom or Dad (or Grandma or Grandpa) finds out they're going to be a parent, there's one thing they think of more than anything else. Yes, we daydream about their tiny little fingernails and soft hair and sweet, tiny noses. We can't wait to snuggle their bitty tummies and tickle their toes. But there's something so much bigger than all of that: we want them to know Jesus.

We long for the day they will ask what it means to trust in Him. To hear their voices acknowledge Him, seek Him, love him.

Let me tell you, there isn't a lot that can move a Mama to tears quicker than hearing her babies praising the Lord. Those voices that aren't even fully developed, totally abandoned to loving their Maker - oh, it touches a place deep, deep inside.

I am so, so blessed!

Friday

I didn't want to go to Weight Watchers this morning. Really really didn't want to go. I knew I'd gained, and I was right: 3.4 pounds. Why is it so much easier to pack it on than to take it off?? I'm still down overall by about 13 pounds but dang, I could be nearing 30 by now if I'd get on the ball and quit this back & forth stuff. I just told Alif about it and he said, "That's ok, we've been eating vigorously this week." Ha!

About a month ago, maybe 5 weeks, I brought my Bible downstairs during quiet time with the intention of doing a Bible study while the kids napped. I didn't, and also I never took it back upstairs where I read before falling asleep at night. I have noticed that I'm really missing my nightly Bible reading, and I also think it's having a big impact on my daily living. God tells us in that His Word is living, that it's good for all sorts of things, and clearly one of them is keeping me on the right track.

In other divulging-too-much-info news, Alif & I are facing some real parenting dilemmas. We are glad to be on the Dave Ramsey plan, to be turning our financial life into a successful one. Note that I say we're glad about it and not that we find it easy. There are things we have totally taken for granted over the years that we are now having to really think about. Two of those things are the kids' sports and camps.

There are four sports/activities coming up: baseball, indoor soccer, swimming lessons and outdoor soccer. How much would it cost to enroll all three big kids in all of these activities? Let me bust out the calculator and do a little guesstimate . . . ok, around $1750. Camp will cost around $900, not including fundraisers but including things like spending money and supplies. This is a lot of money!

Tonight we're going to have a little pow-wow with the family, get their input, get God's input, and then hammer out what we think we should actually try to fit into our budget and what will just have to wait. I can see how we have gotten into debt to begin with - all these things feel so important that they don't seem optional. Well, they're just going to have to be, or we're going to have to figure out a way that we can pay our bills and still afford all the extras - in cash. Wish us luck!!

Today's blah-blah

Let's see if I can fill you in on what all has happened since yesterday.

We went to FPU, and Alif wasn't running late for once so we all rode together. Yippee! How many of you drive the car when the whole family's in it? Our family car used to be MY Toyota Corolla, and I guess since it was mine long before we got married, it was just habit that I always drove it. Except when we would go out of town, and then Alif usually drove. Suddenly when we bought my van, he became the family driver probably 75% of the time. How strange, isn't that?

FPU was most excellent as always. Have I told you the drama surrounding Canaan and FPU? I don't really want to go back through old posts so I will tell you the very short story just in case I haven't.
Week 1: Little mister literally RAN right in, had a ball, didn't cry a bit.
Week 2: He cried the entire time. I didn't know this until I picked him up. They were too busy to page me. I wasn't super happy about that but they held him and he was being loved so I wasn't too traumatized.
Week 3: He cried when I dropped him off so I peeked back in a few minutes later to see how it was going, and my 2-year-old-literally-on-that-day was walking around the room sobbing, and the workers were not tending to him. My blood pressure went up and I got him out immediately. The children's director ended up taking care of him personally that night.
Week 4: He cried on and off and they held him and loved him.

Last night he seemed pretty excited about class. "Puzzles, toys, HI MOMMY! HI DADDY!" We were practicing how it would all go and he seemed ok. This church has a fancy drop-off system that involves printing off a paper with photos on it to prove who you are and everything, and he was holding his little paper as we approached his classroom. I cheerfully asked if he'd like to give the teacher his paper and he did - with his arm stretched waaaaay out and his body as far around the corner as it would go. Ha! He cried as I nudged him in, but settled quickly. His favorite teacher said he shadowed her all night but didn't cry. When I picked him up he was coloring a puppet. Someone had drawn big, brown eyes on it. I can relax. A little.

So I guess that's about the biggest thing that's happened since we spoke last. Have a great Thursday!

Wait, I almost forgot! Alif and I are going to cut up our credit cards! Can you imagine? We have tons of them. Tons. We are still on baby step #1, which is to save up a baby emergency fund of $1,000, and we're not gonna cut our cards until that is established. Once it is though, adios credit cards! We will need to keep the Home Depot and Lowe's cards until we save up some money for Alif's construction business, and once we do that those will be gone too. No credit cards - REVOLUTIONARY!! I did our debt snowball (debt repayment) plan and it has us paid completely out of debt, including the truck (my van is paid for) in 3 years. That's not including any extra payments above & beyond what we currently pay on our debt. There's hope! There's light at the end of this tunnel!!

Nothing to write about

I've had blogger's block lately - had you noticed? I think of things I'd like to say, but by the time I get in front of the computer whatever was on my mind has vanished. I'm just gonna do a little rambling today, if you don't mind.

A couple nights ago Canaan was sleeping with Alif and I. He woke up at 5:45 and asked to nurse, but said it was ok for me to go potty first (ha). When I came back to the bed, I started to climb in and he said, "ahh, thank you!" :-D

We women all love our labor stories. They're so much a part of who we are that we can't help telling them over and over to anyone who will listen (or pretend to). I'm surprised how much I feel this way about the births of my two nieces in the last week! I could write a whole blog entry about each of them, but I feel kind of weird doing so since that's THEIR mommy's story. If I'm going to be a birth photographer, I'm certainly going to have to learn how to integrate others' birth stories into my own life without it throwing me for an emotional loop each time! I almost feel like my own hormones are going through a shift similar to when I had my own kids. I guess it's the huge buildup and letdown of waiting and waiting and waiting, then attending (!) each birth, and then leaving them to live in my own home with my own life. It doesn't make a lot of sense to feel this way but since when did feelings make any sense anyway?

So Olivia and Kate are both doing so well. Olivia is a major sleeper which is new to John & Lynette. I dare say they are enjoying it. Kate has changed so much even since I last saw her on Sunday. My Mom texted me a picture of her yesterday and she was looking like the spitting image of my gorgeous sister.

Oh, I love babies!! I saw someone pregnant last week and told Alif, "Oh look, she's pregnant! Lucky!" He didn't respond.

Caris and the Missing Tooth, and Babies galore

As dictated by Caris:

I was at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and I was eating a hamburger. And I was like, "what is that in my mouth?" and then I felt it, and then I tried to pull it out, and I thought it was something stuck between the tooth. And I finally pulled it out and dropped it out of my finger. And then I finally knew it was a tooth. And I thought, that's cool! Then we put it in a baggie. Later I told Grandma that I didn't have anything to do and she said, "go play with your tooth!"

So there it is - my baby girl lost her first tooth! And she did it while I was out of town, the little stinker!! I warned her before I left that I would be mad at her if she lost it while I was gone, and she wasn't sure if I was kidding or not so she said, "Will you really be mad, or will you just be sad?" LOL I assured her all would be well if she lost it while I was gone. ;-)

Pictures to come when I FIND MY CAMERA. How does one LOSE a camera??

Also? I have not one but TWO new nieces.

Olivia Katherine was born to Lynette and John on 2/10, and she's not my bio niece but close enough.

Katherine "Kate" Rebecca was born to Megan and Jason on 2/14.

Both girls are gorgeous!!

Meltdowns & Miracles

Every year as my kids' birthdays approach, I prepare myself. More than a month ago I began to rehearse in my mind that Canaan would be turning two. A couple times I even referred to him as a 2-year-old. Just to try it on for size, you know? Ease in?
That's all fine until the actual day comes. February 4, 2009. My baby is two. Two! Can't I remember so clearly calling those needed to come to my home and attend my labor? Wasn't it only moments ago that LaMonica laid my 10 pound, 2 ounce son in my arms, insisting that yes I could hold him even though I was exhausted and my hands were numb from propping myself up in my bathtub?
We have celebrated this boy every day of his life. How very special each of his milestones have been with not only a doting mother and a proud father, but the biggest cheerleaders of all - his siblings - applauding him! How we've adored him and his sparkling eyes, his easy grin, his cute little sayings!

We have spent countless hours on the floor with him, seeing the world through his eyes. We've knelt in the sand and really felt it between our toes. We've seen the little birds hopping to and fro and appreciated their delicate nature.
I couldn't begin to calculate the number of hours I have spent nursing this little one, holding him as tightly as wiggly toddlerhood allows, kissing his rosy lips, smoothing the silkiest hair, caressing the softest little legs.

I have remembered the weeks of early pregnancy when we weren't sure at all that this baby was going to stay put. The months we spent searching for the right medical practitioner for my pregnancy and delivery. The peace and joy we felt when we finally decided to have him at home. The unbelievable experience it actually was, far surpassing my wildest expectations of how wonderful a labor and delivery could be.

We have, in short, fallen absolutely, head-over-heels, completely in love with our magical little son. Alif spoke correctly this morning when he came upon our smiling boy: "It doesn't matter what day it is, you're just happy!" Happy indeed, and oh - we are so, so blessed.

In case you weren't sure, Canaan, we love you. So very much.