Monday, April 16, 2007
I'm so lucky
I was lying on my bed this evening nursing Canaan before putting him to bed and I noticed that his little sleeve was covering about half of his hand. I fixed the sleeve up for him and suddenly felt awash with thankfulness. How lucky am I that it's ME who gets the privilege of taking care of this precious baby's needs for him? Man! Then I started thinking about how blessed I am that I'M the one who gets to spend all day with him and see and know every detail of who he is. The way his little fingers curl into fists, and then how his fingers look like little sausages when he stretches them out. The way his eyelashes curl up and just slightly outward, and how the very outer ones stick to his skin sometimes, and how they're so fine and soft that if he cries and I wipe his tears, the little hairs stick to his lower eyelid until he opens up his eyes. Even the pattern of his forehead hairs and the way his tummy rises and falls with each breath, and how his legs are very, very still as he falls asleep while he nurses. Oh! I love this baby! I tear up just thinking about the wonder of it all - and then I think of the God who created him, and I wonder how can anyone love a baby this much and yet not adore the God who gave such a wondrous gift? I literally cannot resist kissing that smooth, soft forehead, stroking that sticky-uppy hedgehog hair, and I think of how much I want to hug the God who made him. Then I looked down at my love and his eyes were fluttering closed, and do you know that I actually teared up because I knew this was it, that he was out for the night and I wouldn't see him until tomorrow? I am getting cornier and cornier with every baby I have!!