The other day I mentioned to Lynette that I have been feeling stressed out. She looked concerned and asked, "why?" I really didn't have an answer.
I think part of the answer is that I have developed a nasty discontentment this past week.
None of my pictures turn out like I want them to!
I am so fat!
There's never enough money!
One of my things was that I really want curtains up. We've lived in this house for almost two years and the only room with curtains is the boys' room. What the heck keeps me from curtaining my windows? Well, see complaints above, for one - finances. Another reason is that every, and I mean EVERY time I make curtains, I get sick of my fabric choices in about a week. Sometimes I even hate them as I'm sewing them, and then I berate myself for shelling out all the dough for fabric I don't even like once I get it home.
Well! The other day, Malachi & I were sorting through my fabrics when we came across one that I had bought years and years ago to make a bedskirt for the master bedroom. I held it up and said, "Isn't this pretty? I wish I had enough of this to make curtains! Oh well - put this on the buffet and I'll see if JoAnn still has it next time I go." We continued digging through the fabrics and would you know that we found a huge, long piece of The Glorious Fabric at the bottom of the bin? How awesome is our God for providing me a fabric that I already know I love? That I've loved for years? And there it's been all this time, in the bottom of my fabric bin?? (Ok, I actually have about ten of these bins - anyway.)
So that was cool. Totally cool. But today I realized another reason for my stress. I need to REFUEL. My sister is in town and tonight I'm going to go to my Mom's and hang out with them. I was thinking about this time and I didn't get all giddy or excited. I got relaxed. I could physically feel my neck muscles relax and my shoulders lower a good inch. I *NEED* this time with these amazing women. To not feel "on" at all. To not feel fat. To not feel anything but loved and accepted EXACTLY as I am.
I am so thankful for women in my life who love me.
And a night out without (most of) my kids.