A friend sent me this silly link http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm and here's what resulted:
North Pole, Earth
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lynette's Office party. It was Amanda who spiked the punch with too much Hot Chocolate. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like baby wipes.
I thought it was funny when I put Sarah's Shirt on my head and danced the Chicken Dance on the Leather Sofa while singing `Santa Got Ran over by a R'. I didn't mean to break Lynette's TV and don't know why Lynette would accuse me of Shoplifting.
I don't remember calling John's wife a Hairy Dog---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Liz's husband's Arms, it was only because I ate too much of that Dogfood.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Truck through my neighbor's Chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Tall Cat and have me arrested for Hooking!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Slutty and Pink. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Delightful stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and Shyly yours,Emily (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 7 bucks!