Most of the time, I only feel like "ugh, Asperger's sucks" when Graham's having a Really Bad Day. This means he is annoying everyone, having very little impulse control, taking forever to do the smallest tasks, fighting every single transition (what, wearing the same shirt 4 days in a row isn't okay? oh, it's time to leave - let me use the restroom, gather my belongings, walk around the house, anything but actually head toward the door). Things that make *my* life hard. Things that make the other kids' lives hard.
Tonight was another "ugh, Asperger's sucks" moment but for a completely different reason. We drove Malachi to a friend's house to spend the night, and a few minutes into the ride home Graham said, "I wish I had someone to invite me to sleepovers and parties." :*(
If only I could just will other children to see Graham the way I see him! If only they could see how creative he is, how generous, how brilliant. If only they could draw him out and hear his funny stories. I know that God will bring someone along who will understand Graham, because I have prayed from before my kids were born that they would have Godly friends. I know God wants Graham to have fellowship with the saints, so I absolutely know He will not leave Graham without real fellowship. I just wish I knew if that will ever include a friend outside our family.
We talked a little bit about how we might be able to develop some friendships. We talked about "the best way to have a friend is to be one" and discussed some easy conversation starters. Caris counted out loud the friends she has made at her enrichment classes and Graham asked her how does she do that. LOL She said, "I ask them if they'd like to play with me and they say yes." He said, "where are you when you do that?" I told him maybe he could talk to someone who's sitting near him and gave him some ideas about what he might say.
To further my heartbreak, when I put the kids to bed and Graham prayed, he said, "Dear God, thank you for our day today and that Malachi gets to spend the night with (his friend)." *Wow*. To have a hurt about something lacking in one's life and then to be so thankful that one's brother does have that thing? THAT is the Graham *I* know.