Be Magnified

This song is my heart's cry in so many areas! Oh Lord, be magnified in my life!

Be Magnified

I have made you too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me!
And I have believed in the lie
That you were unable to help me
But now, Oh Lord, I've seen my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And with my heart and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

Be magnified Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing you can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on you
Be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

I have leaned on the wisdom of men
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of your love and your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I've seen my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And with my heart and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

Lord, let your glory fall

Last night we were having wonderful worship at church. It was an especially small group at the evening service, but worship was clearly heart-felt and spirit-filled. There was a song about seeing God's glory, and our pastor mentioned something about seeing God in His full glory, and imagine how that will be. Suddenly 1 Corinthians 13:12 came to mind: Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. As I thought of this verse, God revealed a sweet thing to me. I thought of how much I love this baby I'm carrying and how connected I feel to him. Many, many times during the day I feel him move and feel overwhelmed with the feeling of "I love you, son!" I thought of how much I love him already, and I have certainly only seen a poor reflection of him so far - 2-D images of his sweet legs, feet, profile in ultrasounds, my tummy going bumpety-bump when he moves, and just the sheer imagination of what he will look like. Then I thought of my experience with each of my other babies: seeing their downy hair for the first time, their eyelashes, their plump, pink skin, smelling their sweet breath, hearing their coos and cries, what it's like when my lips brush their cheek, their neck, their toes. There's just no comparison. It would take a volume of books to even begin to describe what it is like to be a mother and to hold a baby in one's arms. Then back to that verse, that says that we see Christ now only as a poor reflection in a mirror . . . wow. I think of my most intense moments of worship, of adoration, of the knowledge that my God is truly awesome . . . and that is only a poor reflection? I'm pregnant with anticipation.

Tired

I had a cold over the weekend and I feel a lot better today, but totally exhausted. I hate the feeling of lots of things I'd like to be doing but no energy to do them.

The kids kept fighting over every little thing, so I made some playdough and now they're happy as clams, working on their cherry-scented creations at the table. Hooray for simple pleasures.

Movin' Right Along

This baby has obviously grown! I can feel him moving all day long, and all over my belly! Wouldn't it be fun to be hooked up to an ultrasound machine all day long and watch him at his antics in there?

And in other moving news, Alif is over at our new house today, fixing things, tearing out carpet, etc. How exciting!

More great news!

So I went to a perinatologist yesterday to do a re-check of Baby's kidneys and heart. Everything checked out wonderfully! Baby is healthy as can be. Praise the Lord! He is growing beautifully. I especially loved how chubby his little legs are getting! And yes, he flashed his manhood several times - definitely all boy in there. I cannot wait to see his sweet little face!

Heart of my Heart

Malachi started complaining of chest pain about six months ago, just every once in a while. For a few weeks though, it was daily at least and we decided it was time to mention it to our pediatrician. She scheduled us for an EKG and chest x-ray the same day and referred us to a pediatric cardiologist out of town. Alif took him to that appointment today, where the doctor performed an echocardiogram and gave Malachi a clean bill of health! He gave Alif and Malachi various reasons the chest pain could be happening, none of them serious and none of them requiring any action unless the chest pains worsen or start to disrupt his daily life. Great news!

Intensity

I knew Malachi was intense from before he was born. After all, I progressed from 2 cm to 10 cm in less than 10 minutes of transitional labor. When he was not quite able to crawl, and he'd yowl every time I dared take a single step away from him, I felt his intensity. When he was two years old and defying me with every fiber of his being, he was intense. Years have gone by and with those energy-draining baby and toddler years in the past, Malachi's really channeled his intensity into activities that are much more enjoyable, which means, in my humanity, that I don't notice it as much. He's a mostly quiet boy, especially around people he doesn't know very well.

The first year Malachi played soccer we were pleased if he got one touch on the ball in a game. He liked to play, but he just wasn't aggressive at all. I wished he'd be himself out there, but the truth was, his shyness took over and he was just too nice. The second year was better for him, and he usually kicked the ball a few times per game. Last year he was like a different player. He'd get in the action and really play hard. With Daddy as his coach, he blossomed and had a great year. It's now his fourth year and that kid can really play. I mean, he's one of the best players on his team, and also one of the youngest. He is serious about soccer, and he's easily the best defender in every game we've watched this season. He's not at all afraid to step in front of a boy twice his size and steal the ball.

Today though, there was a really amazing moment in the game. Both teams were playing aggressively, and there was a bit of foul play going on that the ref wasn't noticing. Just as Malachi ran close to us on the side of the field, flanked by two elbowing players from the opposite team, my son glared at them and said, "Hey! No pushing!" and kept about his play. I have tears in my eyes just writing about it. It was the first time I looked at my son with true admiration. I could never confront someone that way, stand up for myself so clearly. In that moment, his short life flashed before my eyes - his angry cries when I dared leave him in the nursery at church, his defiant eyes when I disagreed with his plans as a toddler . . . and the words of dear friends of ours, Jim and Ginny Smith, when I was about to give up: "You will be so thankful someday that God has blessed your son with a strong spirit." If it took 8 years and an AYSO soccer game to prove them right, it's ok. What a miracle to have a glimpse into the intense, strong, true and fair spirit of my unbelievable boy. I'm so proud of you, son.

MomTime

A while back I came across the concept of MomTime by Lisa Whelchel. The basic idea is to get a group of Moms together and just have fun! Well actually, friends, food, faith and fun. I prayed about it and kept getting more excited about the idea, so I called Lynette and she agreed that it sounded really nice. We invited a couple of moms and had our first MomTime today! I was nervous about making all the details come together, but we had such a great time! The first hour is the food/faith hour, where we just eat the lunch and talk, and the second hour is the friends/fun hour, where we bust out a game and play. I am not a big game person but oh goodness, we had a blast! I can't WAIT till the next one!

19-week checkup

I went in for my 19-week checkup today (well, I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow). Caris came with me, which was nice. I'm always happy to have a little time alone with one of my kids! It occurred to me on the way there that this is the first appointment of this pregnancy that was totally routine. Nothing to be nervous about, not a new doctor or anything, just a routine appointment. What a relief that is! Everything looks good! I gained SIX POUNDS in the last month, which puts my total at -8 pounds. Baby's heartbeat sounds good, and I got the lab slip to go for the glucose tolerance test in a week. Oh joy. LOL Later this week I have an appointment with a doctor who specializes in high-risk ultrasounds. We just want to take a good look at the heart and kidneys to make sure everything is ok there. I hope everything is all cleared up.

Oh happy day!

Yesterday was my Birthday! It started off a little poo-ey because I'm apart from my sister. We share a Birthday and I haaaaaaaaaate when we're not together for it! I got up and there was a sweet note that Alif had left before he went to work, so that was nice. I did some cleaning and got ready, and then my Mom showed up! She is like, the Birthday Dreams Fairy, seriously. She showered me with love and affection and gifts the ENTIRE DAY. I can't even describe how special she made the day! I came home and rested a bit and then Mom & Rod came over to further the Birthday spoiling with a huge bag of candy, pizza (we found out that Megan had Domino's in Scotland for her Birthday so we HAD to do it too!!) and cake & ice cream. It was scrumptious and delightful. Graham gave me two little notes he had written me during nap, and the effort he went to to write them made me want to cry. What sweet kids I have!!

So anyway, I got up this morning and felt like I really just did not want to do today AT ALL. We had to go to the store and then there was park day and I was so pooped from all the Birthday fun, I just couldn't face it. Nonetheless, we went off to the store and guess what? I had made my menu for every meal and snack and expected to go over my max, but I was $20 under it! Praise God! We got home and I rushed to get the pasta salad ready for park day, and figured I may as well put the stew in the crock pot too. Park day was actually a ton of fun! I'm soooo glad we went. We stayed quite a bit longer than I planned to, and when we got home, the smell of that stew cooking made me feel comforted immediately. Dinner is ready, and it's only 3:00! It'll only get tastier as the next few hours pass by, too. Man, for a day that started out with such a bad attitude, it's turned out to be a huge blessing.

Good morning, Baby!

I awoke this morning to Baby's kicking, rolling, thumping. I thought to myself, "What could be a sweeter way to wake up?" Well, as I sit here now I can't help but think that a sweeter way to wake up would be to see his precious face next to mine, his fuzzy head waiting for caresses, his hand trying to appease the will to nurse . . . oh yeah, all of that will be sweeter. But for now, little one, your movements will have to suffice!

Oscar the Grouch

I'm so grouchy. Not all the time, and not in a horrible, life sucks kind of way, but just enough to feel really NOT like myself. I'm so HOT and so tired of being hot (even in my air-conditioned, comfy house I'm hot!). My Mom promises it will cool down the week after my Birthday. I sure hope she is right! The kids can be playing and one minute I think they're darling in their exuberance, and the next minute I am saying to them, "If you have to make that noise, please go somewhere else to do it." I guess they're being well-trained in the art of dealing with hormones.

On a positive note, I have been buying a few diapering things here & there for Baby! It is so much fun perusing for BOY diapers! So far I've bought one AIO, 3 covers and 2 dozen preemie prefolds. I can't wait until they start arriving. Oh, I also bought him a cute Gymboree outfit on eBay for really cheap. It's so fun starting to collect these things!! On Sunday we worked in the nursery, and it was so sweet being with all of those babies. It made January feel like a year away, though. I am hoping that with all that fall brings, time will go by a lot more quickly now.

More about our boy!

Can you believe it? A sweet baby BOY! I am so excited!! The tech had a couple of very small concerns with the kidneys and heart, so we will recheck those in four weeks, but other than that everything looks great! ANOTHER BOY!! My Mom & the kids & I went immediately after to a local boutique and picked out a boyish 1st year calendar, baby book and she got me the prettiest diaper bag: http://petuniapicklebottom.com/product_detail.phtml?id=148 Also at the u/s, we recorded his precious heartbeat and on my birthday my Mom & I will go to Build A Bear and put the little sound button in his paw. How cute! Anyway, we are so excited!

Back from u/s . . .

Museum day

Here are just a couple of pictures from our museum trip: My kids in the animal art room









Clockwise from right: Caris, Taylor, Jordan, Courtney and Anna

Chicken Pox have left the building

Praise the Lord, the Chicken Pox are gone! You can still see just a couple marks on Malachi, a few on Graham, and tons on Caris, but they're healing nicely and no one has been contagious for quite some time. I'm very glad it's over and very sorry for anyone who goes through this - ever!

Happy Not Back to School Day!

Today's the first day of school for most kids in our city. It's a day I'm always so thankful for my kids and my husband and that our God directed us to homeschooling. :::teary moment:::

My friend Theresa e-mailed last week and invited us to the museum to celebrate not back to school day. LOL I invited Lynette, and we all went and met a couple of other people there. We had such a nice time! The kids had a ball playing in the children's museum, then we ate lunch outside, and then looked around the very old houses, offices etc. I wish I'd left after lunch, because it was hot after that and I got tired & grouchy and didn't listen to my limits. I guess it's good that we stayed though, because the kids really did like looking around the old houses and things.

I have to admit that this morning Graham was acting up and I started to get in a bad mood, and that old feeling from last year crept in, where I just wanted to stay home. But you know what? I am absolutely determined to be involved this year. I remember when we were super involved with a local group and I practically lived for Wednesday park days. Since we left that group I just haven't ever gotten back to being very involved and I don't think that is good for me or for the kids. So going today was not only fun but a great start to our new committment!

I like tickers

I love my family!

Today was a busy day. First I had my ob checkup. Everything looks great, and hooray, my u/s is in two weeks!! We're planning to find out the gender this time and I'm so excited I can hardly wait.

After that we had the first day of our new school year. The second I walked in the door Malachi said, "Can we start school now??" LOL! I made us a snack and away we went! We worked for an hour and a half and then it was lunchtime. I read to the kids until 1 and then we all napped (well, the boys had quiet time). After that we went off to the lab, where the phlebotomist took most of my blood. :-P

We got home and finished up our schoolwork, which took until 6:00. Weird day for sure. I made dinner after that and we ate - croissant sandwiches and grapes. Everyone loved it. After dinner we all cleaned until 8:30 and got the house mostly cleaned. Hooray. Put kids to bed and then crashed on the couch. Now it's Treasure Hunters time.

Woo hoo!

Ok, so I hardly ever actually say, "woo hoo!" in real life, but it feels great to write it because it's how I feel! The morning sickness has faded for the most part, and just in time, too. Now that I'm feeling better I can see what all suffered while I was sick. Like, we went grocery shopping for the first time last week (Alif had been handling that for me) and when I put away the groceries I noticed how the refrigerator was screaming to be all scrubbed out. What a difference that made!

Also, we are moving (just a couple streets away) in a few months and so I am going room to room, purging, tossing, goodwill-bagging etc. Moving has a way of making all of my accumulations so much less important to hang on to. Do I want to pack this and unpack it? Do I want to find a place for this in our new house? If the answer is no, away it goes. Some of it gives me a little sad tinge to get rid of, but if I know I'll never miss it, it's gone.

The boys did soccer camp last week and had a GREAT time. I didn't get to go since Caris was just getting over the chicken pox, but Alif went each night and it was a blast for them all. They learned a ton and it made them even more excited for the upcoming soccer season!