Uncertainty

Portrait of Grandma by Canaan

We all know that life holds no promises. Anything could happen. It might be my last day on Earth today. Jesus might come back today (oh Lord, please do!). I might live another 70 years on this planet. I don't know. None of us do.

However, you add in a scary diagnosis like my Mom has received, and suddenly the world seems a little more uncertain. The Earth shifts and it's sort of like the Spring Forward time change times a hundred. Every day goes by in a blur. Hope battles with fear. Tears mix with smiles. The day ends and starts again and it all repeats. Nothing feels normal.

I prayed about this yesterday, quite a lot. After all, my Mom is completely healthy right now. She feels good, she's working, laughing, reading decorating books, organizing her company's Relay for Life team - she's really quite alive. No diagnosis could hold her back from leading the life the Lord has called her to lead right now.

It's dishonoring to both the Lord and to my Mom, then, to walk in fear. Yes, it's normal to think about what's happening and to wonder what is in store. But dang, it's not a healthy thing for anyone involved for me to be living in a haze.

Guess how the Lord answered my prayer this morning?

Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Oh. Yeah. I'm not alone. There is One who knows details beyond what we know. He numbers our days and His plans are good! And he is not a God of fear, but of hope - and joy! I can choose to live these days filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit.

Does that mean I won't worry or cry or wonder what's going to happen? Of course not. But I can hold God's words close to my heart and ask Him to help me to live them.