Thursday, March 05, 2009

my eyes! MY EYYYYEEEESS!!!!!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

I have a problem. It isn't a cute problem, like "I'm addicted to conversation hearts" (though I am) or "I jog too much" (I don't). It's a real, serious, ugly problem.

Fear. I really struggle with fear. You know that Jeremy Camp song that's popular right now? "There will be a day with no more fear, no more pain, no more tears" That song touches me. I love my life but the thought of living with Jesus someday and suffering no more? Pretty cool.
Though I won't describe it just in case anyone reading also has a fear problem, there is one particular image that has haunted me as long as I can remember. It just shows up in my mind sometimes and makes me quiver with fear inside. I hate it.
So I was watching TV last night and nothing was really on, so I was watching America's Next Top Model, a decidedly ridiculous but un-scary show. Imagine my horror, then, when a commercial came on for some awful show or movie and the very image, the one from my imagination, showed up on my screen. I turned my head quickly but it was too late. The image was already cemented in my mind. "I hate this stupid TV" I thought, "Why do we have to have this? Why do I sit here and allow my mind to be assaulted night after night?"

Indeed. Why DO I do this to myself? Why don't I just GO TO BED or play cards with Alif or cozy up and read or sew or meditate or play Wii or ANYTHING but allow the assault of my mind and morals, night after night after night?

"Because in the midst of the yuck, there's good stuff!" Oh really? GOOD stuff? Or ENTERTAINING stuff?

If my kids asked to go to a keg party and assured me there would be good punch there, fun games, nice kids . . . would I say, oh yeah, go for it! There's a lot of good in that keg party, my precious child! Have at it!

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:11-12

I don't know what my conclusion is. There are things I really like to watch on TV, and very rarely, there ARE good things on. But at what cost? We don't even have cable - the commercials that cause me grief are on regular network TV channels. I guess it's time to seek the Lord on this one.


  1. I certainly hear where you are coming from. I battle fear on a daily basis and have for about 9 years. I am finally finding some relief and it's not in drugs or talking to some doctor, it is in prayer. I am giving every single worry, concern, joy, and struggle to my Savior. It is incredibly freeing!

  2. Oh, man. I know just what you mean about TV. What a good analogy about the keg party. I've pretty much given up network television. The commercials are too disgusting and irritating. I can't relate to Oprah anymore. And we've gotten sick of Grey's Anatomy, too. That was really all I watched.

    Though I do still love Food Network. Except that it makes me eat too much. :P

  3. great analogy! and a wonderful post!!
    i struggle with this too - i'm a ver visual person so images really stick with me. we just got a dvr and i love it because i can fast-forward through the commercials
    ;-) during the few tv shows i actually watch.
    no wonder i watch food network and hgtv 80% of the time.