Monday, June 16, 2008

My run-in with the zean.

A couple summers ago I tried a self-tanning lotion. It worked, and I had a golden (not orange or splotchy) tan all summer long, without all the harmful rays or the heat or the actual TIME it would take to get a real tan. I didn't do it last year, probably because I had a newborn and was too busy admiring his brown skin to work on my own fakey-brown.

Remember this ridiculous picture of my insanely white legs? Yeah, it was time to do something about this. I went to Target and got some tanning spray. Man, it was hard to decide what to get. Has the self-tanning industry really changed so much in just a couple short years? Pretty much there were two choices: lotions that tan gradually or sprays. I didn't want to use a lotion that would tan me so gradually that maybe by next summer I might not blind everyone. The spray seemed a little risky, though. Would I be able to get it on nice and even?

I went ahead and gave it a go on Saturday night. Sprayed it right on, just like the directions said to. I held off on my arms and face and just did my legs. It dried within 5 minutes as promised, and I looked forward to seeing my bronzed legs first thing in the morning, since it takes 2-4 hours to activate.

I went to sleep thinking of my friend Kim telling me about her cousin's awful self-tanning experience, wherein she was covered in splotches and hives and was very, very orange. I was sure nothing of the sort would happen to me.

When I woke up on Sunday there were no hives and I was not orange. I was, in fact, brown and white STRIPED. And my ankles were brown and white splotched. What could I do but laugh? Two weeks of looking like this? Thank God for pants, even if it is supposed to be over 100 almost all week.

We went swimming on Sunday for about an hour. At the end of the swim, I was no longer part of the zebra-tan community. The tan washed off. In one one-hour swim.

Good stuff, that tanning spray.


  1. that is so hilarious! i cannot believe you were striped and that it washed off in one swim. i say, embrace your white skin! c'mon, it's not so bad, really. it's definitely better than being striped or splotchy!

  2. so funny! I guess it's a good thing it was such a horrible product in that at least it washed off quickly. :)
    I've had some interesting run-ins with tanning sprays too. If you are looking for an EXCELLENT one I would recommend Arbonne BefoRE Sun tanning spray. It's amazing. A tad expensive, but so great.
    Anyway, I don't think your white legs look that bad. Mine are probably about the same. Like Daiv said, it could be worse. :)

  3. *Davi, not Daiv!

  4. I really like the Coppertone gradual tan lotion. I could see a difference after just a couple applications. If you do too much of it though you do tend to get a little orange. I think last summer I did it 1-2 times a week.

  5. That is funny! I haven't tried any for a while because they are so hard to get just right. But I will try soon so I'm not so white.

  6. Anonymous4:30 PM

    I thought it looked pretty good, but if it makes you happy I am glad it got washed off

  7. Hi Emily,
    Yes, even at 16 months, your Canaan has much more hair than my Canaan at 19 months...! He is just a baldy like his daddy was when he was little. I enjoyed looking through your blog; we also love the Lord and I was home-schooled growing up (1st-12th grades). We plan to do the same with our kids. God bless!
    ~Lucy (the mom of another Canaan!)

  8. ROFLOL. I was about to say, aw, shucks, now I'm going to have to spray my legs, too, so they won't be the whitest at the park tomorrow. Here, here for naturally blinding skin! (still laughing...)