God's Upside-Down Universe

It's true that God's ways are not like ours. I had many days toward the end of my pregnancy that I really worried how well I would be able to tolerate four children. I was so tired and cranky and many times my patience was absolutely worn thin. I kept thinking of how much *more* tired I'd be with a baby in the mix and how much *less* patient this would make me.

God has a funny, special way of doing things, though. My heart hasn't just expanded to include little Canaan, it's expanded to not just tolerate my older kids better but to truly enjoy them more. Sure, I have moments where my patience fizzles and I really just need some quiet - and God provides it. But all in all, having one more baby has just made me love being a Mom even more! Thank you Lord!

Pics of Canaan

Alif pointed out how funny it was when Canaan was sleeping with his hand flat against his face one night while we watched TV. LOL













Canaan in his new size small Thirsties cover. I love this cover!!

Canaan, 4 weeks

-when we are nursing in bed, his hand finds its way inside mine - I love how it feels opening and closing in there
-he makes little sighing, high-pitched singing noises as he exhales during nursing
-his hair is falling out, resulting in a nice male-pattern baldness look. LOL
-0-3 outfits still fit, but are starting to look a bit snug. 3-6 outfits are still really big, though.
-he's starting to make much more intentional eye contact, though the visual love of his life is still the ceiling fan in the living room
-went on his first out-of-womb walk around the neighborhood. Really liked it - stared with face upward, soaking in the sun, then fell asleep in the sling
-has 12 white milia spots left on his nose. I actually counted them during an early-morning feeding. ROFL
-first time at church today! So fun showing him off to those who hadn't seen him yet! Alif & I worked in the nursery today so it was the perfect Sunday to head back to church.
-Alif said tonight, "He's really getting big." I responded, "I know. He doesn't look like a newborn any more." :*)

Baby talk strikes again

I come from a long line of proud baby-talkers.
Grandma Maroney: Hotseee-dis-tootsie!
Grandma Baldwin: He's a REAL NICE BOY!
And today, just after I got Canaan out of his bath I dried him off and as I dried his hair, leaned him back to have a good look at his fat, adorable little face and said/squealed: He's the coziest little baby! He's very cozy and so so SWEET!!
AND HE SMILED!! He's 3 weeks 2 days and he smiled right at me! Three gummy grins right in a row! And then one more just for good measure, as I put his diaper on and the other kids watched, then burst into absolute hysterics at seeing a real, non-sleeping SMILE from the baby!!

God provides

We had a good night last night: Canaan was down at 9 and didn't wake up until 1:30, then he ate again at 4 and 6. Not bad! This morning though, I woke up thinking that I just didn't want to do today. Just too much to do and no energy, and I thought - man, this week we are really, totally on our own. We have been SO incredibly blessed and dinner has been provided for us almost every night since I had Canaan. Unbelievable the generosity and kindness of our friends and family!! But - you know, it's been three weeks and so of course it makes perfect sense that most people we know have brought dinner and it's time to start cooking for ourselves again. LOL BUT, my friend Katie called this morning and said she'd like to bring dinner tomorrow night! That is so perfect! Somehow that one dinner for this week just totally took the pressure off me!

Also this morning I did some schoolwork with Graham and cleaned Caris' room (it needed it desperately!). Hopefully this week I can get back to my cleaning schedule and the whole house will have returned to a nice state by Saturday. It's really not bad, just a bit neglected, so it shouldn't be too hard to do.

Canaan, 3 weeks

My baby is 3 weeks already! Wow! Here's what he's been up to this week:

-still tries to latch indiscriminately (to my arm, a blanket etc.) but once he finds the nipple, he latches all by himself. No more waiting for him to open wide and then hurriedly pulling him on.
-is on his first antibiotic, already. :-P His congestion just wasn't going away and on Thursday when I took him to the doctor his ear was a little pink. The congestion is almost completely cleared up. Yay!
-had his first fussy/needy day on Wednesday, and I was *exhausted* because of it, but on Thursday he was back to his usual content self. PTL!
-went to house church for the first time on Wednesday

Canaan, 2 weeks

-opens his eyes much more, and I think they may be turning brown!
-sleeps all night except for nursing 2-3 times. YAY!
-has had a stuffy nose all week, but his jaundice is all cleared up
-has outgrown most of his newborn diaper covers, but still fits 0-3 month clothing nicely
-sleeps about half the night in his pack n play and half between Mommy & Daddy
-lots more awake time during the day
-had his first "playtime" in the activity gym yesterday and stared for almost 30 minutes
-weighed 10 lbs 15 oz on Friday
-has peely skin on hands/wrists and feet/ankles

Newborn Nights

Canaan has really no routine for his days or nights, so it's basically impossible to predict what sort of night we will have. Last night he fell asleep on the couch at 7 and woke up to nurse around 9:30 or so. I nursed him and headed to bed, wondering if we'd be up for several more hours or if I'd get some sleep. I GOT SLEEP!! He woke up to nurse at 12:30 and 3:30 and then we were up for the day at 7. Not bad at all! Of course he still sleeps most of the day too but that really restful night sleep is such a blessing for Mommy.

Speaking of routines, we're *slowly* getting back to ours. The TV isn't on all day like it was last week, and life is feeling a bit more normal. It'll be many more week before we're completely into a new routine, I'm sure, but it feels good to be on the way there.

Baby calling . . .

Stealing Megan's idea

Megan posted 5-week Christian facts, and I thought that was so cute! So here we go:

Canaan, 1 week old

-hardly opens his eyes, and stares blinkingly and very still when he does
-moves his arms in sweeping, jerky motions
-has little "aim" for nursing and will try to latch to my arm, his hand, a blanket, whatever's close by when he's hungry
-needs to burp at each feeding or he will spit up
-startles at loud noises, but sleeps through it all
-will sleep in just about any position but likes it on his tummy the best
-doesn't mind wet or dirty diapers
-umbilical cord fell off at 6 days old
-sleeps a couple of long stretches per day - if only they'd always be at night!
-has jaundice but his levels are on their way down

5 days old

I am grieving my baby growing up and he's only 5 days old! When he's resting on my shoulder, eyes closed, mouth open, quivering every so often the way newborns do, I wish I could freeze time. I wish I could memorize his face and know I'd never forget the way he feels, smells, moves. I think of all the times I have said I'm SO DONE having kids and think I must have been crazy to feel that way. Nine months of nausea? Scary first trimester due to bleeding? Painful labor and delivery? One look at that tiny little face makes every moment of it worthwhile. Of course my hormones are in overdrive and it's no time to be thinking about whether or not to have more babies, but every time I look at my newborn I want to cry (or I actually do), knowing how fast he's going to grow.

I've been blessed to have lots of company this week, and I dread next week already, when my Mom will be back at work and the initial excitement of seeing the baby is over for everyone else. It's this weird time between all of the excitement and newness, and getting back to normal life. The quietness of it makes me really lonely and I get weepy very easily. I'm looking forward to LaMonica's visit on Monday as though it's a huge social engagement. That's another thing. I don't want to let go of the pregnancy "stuff" - and yet I'm thrilled to have my baby here and to not be pregnant any more. Geez, I need to just realize that my hormones are off and not think so much about this stuff, but it's hard not to. I feel a little like a basketcase yesterday and today.

We went out this morning and had Canaan's second blood draw done. I honestly hardly put him in the bilibed, so I hope that his numbers have come down all on their own. I know he's nursing well and getting plenty of milk, and I'm just not really worried. I actually regret paying the $65 for a 2-day rental of the bilibed. :-P I was going to go by the church office to show off the baby but I heard him poop just before we got to where we'd turn, and also he was screaming at that minute, though only for a couple minutes. Maybe we will go to church on Sunday, we'll see. Either way I'd like someone to take the boys so that they can keep up on their memory verse program.

He has a name!!

We finally decided last night on Canaan (KAY-nen). We haven't picked a middle name yet but just having a first name means the world to me.

So Canaan had his first appointment with the pediatrician today. He's up to 10 lbs 3 oz and doing great! We did his circumcision today and it was absolutely traumatic for me. I dreaded it, hated it while I knew it was being done, and cried when he was back in my arms and I knew he was forever altered from the way he came out of me. I'm crying again now just thinking about it. It didn't bother me in the slightest to circumcise Malachi and Graham, except the feeling a parent has when their child has a blood draw or some other thing that's a necessary pain. This time it really, really bothers me. But anyway, it's done. Immediately after that we took him to the hospital for a blood draw since he's jaundiced. His levels came back at 15.7 so home health care is coming out with a bili bed this afternoon.

I woke up in the night seriously engorged - my milk is definitely all the way in! My nipples are sore from a tongue habit he had, which my friend Amanda helped me to correct, so hopefully my nipples will heal quickly. He's great at nursing and it's adorable watching him adjust to the new milk supply.

The older kids are loving being big siblings!! They ask to hold him a lot and they're just all really sweet and helpful with him.

My family and friends are so amazing. My Mom has been so helpful this week, making sure the dishes and laundry and everything are taken care of so all there really is for me to do is feed Canaan (and myself). Alif's parents have stepped in big time with the big kids, having them over for an hour or two every morning until today. Several friends have brought dinner, so we've had dinners every night. That is a HUGE blessing!! It means that I don't have to cook but we still have healthy, home prepared foods to eat, and it also means that we don't have to go to the grocery store this week. My Mom went yesterday and got some fruits and snacks and milk and juice. It's just such a blessing having a baby, and when everyone's so supportive and loving and involved in celebrating him with us, it's all the more wonderful.

Baby has arrived!!

Each evening for about a week, I have had quite a few contractions, usually between about 7 and 10:30 at night. None of them were really painful, except for the pressure his head would put on my cervix, so I'd just go to bed and sure enough, they'd fizzle out and in the morning, a new day of being pregnant would start.

On February 4, 2:00 am, I was awaken by a particularly strong - even painful - contraction. Wow, I thought, I wonder if that will turn into anything! Another one came about 10 minutes later, so I started to get the feeling that things might be happening. At about 2:30 I didn't want to lie in bed so I came downstairs and IMed with Megan - what a huge blessing that she was online and I could voice what was happening!

At 3:00 am I went upstairs and took a shower. I figured that if these contractions were just more false labor, the hot water would soothe them and I could get some sleep. Alif said, "what are you doing?" I told him I was going to take a shower and he said, "what for?" I said, "I think things might be picking up." After the shower I got back in bed and did not sleep but got some good rest in between the contractions, which were coming really far apart, about every 10 - 20 minutes or so. They felt productive but I was really irritated that they weren't getting any closer together - or stopping, one of the two. I laid there wondering whether to call LaMonica and felt really stressed out about that. I didn't want her to come and watch me labor like this for hours and hours, with nothing happening, but I also worried that my water could break and then everything would suddenly happen very quickly. I really did not want to have the baby without my midwife!

Finally a little after 7 am I called LaMonica to tell her what was going on. She suggested that I take a bath and try to get really relaxed. She said that sometimes if you can get the contractions to stop, they'll return later in a better pattern. I got in the bath and it felt great, and the contractions did slow down a bit. After I got out of the bath I felt like, what do I do with myself? Alif suggested I just take it easy. LOL That seemed obvious but how? Do I lie around in bed? Try going to church? Go about the morning as usual? By this point I really was tired, so lying in bed seemed like the best option. I called Mom & Lynette to tell them what was going on too. Mom said she'd get showered and ready and Lynette said she would stay home from church just in case.

About 10:30 I decided to just get up and go about my day. I wondered if being up and around might get things going a bit. I washed some dishes and sure enough, the contractions started coming more regular. They were coming about every 5 minutes and I had to breathe through them. I called LaMonica about 11 something. She listened to me through a contraction and said she'd gather her kids (she was in church) and distribute them, and if I needed her to be very fast to call her, otherwise she'd be here as soon as she got everyone settled. She said that if I started to feel out of control, to go ahead and get back in the bath.

Pretty soon after that I did get back in the bath, around 11:30. The contractions were manageable but I was worried about things moving too quickly and having the baby without LaMonica there. Caris came in the bathroom with me and she was like a 3-year-old doula, pouring warm water over me, getting me cold water to drink, a pear and some grapes to eat (I hadn't eaten all day and couldn't tolerate more than a bite of pear at a time) and of course plenty of toys in the bath. Lynette arrived, then Mom, and it was very reassuring having them there. Alif was mostly tending to the kids but checking in to see if I needed anything every so often. I really felt pretty under control. The water felt amazing, and I knew I wouldn't want to get out anytime soon so I asked Lynette to bring me a bra so I wouldn't feel so self-conscious. That made all the difference for me - I was completely comfortable in the bath after that.

I was so happy when LaMonica got there, I think around 12:00 or so. By that time the contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart, and definitely required my full concentration. The hot water was crucial by this point and I couldn't imagine coping with the contractions without it. LaMonica came in to see how things were going, then she stepped out and for a while it was just Caris, my Mom, Lynette and I in the bathroom. Things started getting more intense for me and I asked for LaMonica to come back. That was probably around 12:45 or so and from that point on she knelt next to the bath and never left. Soon after I needed Alif, so he took the kids across the street to be with Aztlan and Chamil, and by the time he settled in to the bathroom for good (about 1:45) I really needed his support. He rubbed my back, poured hot water over me and encouraged me nonstop. He's a wonderful labor coach!

Around 2:00 I started to feel a bit of pressure and when contractions came it began to feel pretty uncomfortable sitting in the tub, but I also needed that hot water. I wondered out loud if moving upstairs to my bed would relieve the pressure, but also made it clear that I did not want to move out of the water. Alif kept telling me after each contraction, "Let's get you up to the bed. I'll help you." I just could not and would not. Soon it was clear to me that something had to be done - the pressure was intense and I knew pushing could not be far off. I agreed to at least try and get up on my hands and knees, so after the next contraction, they helped me get up onto my knees. Wooah, major pressure increase!! Baby clearly moved down at that point and I knew I needed to push. I said (or moaned, as the case may be), "LaMonica, I think I'm gonna have to push" She looked at me like, well yeah, I knew you would. LOL At the next contraction I pushed as hard as I could, and LaMonica felt and assured me that his head was right there. I pushed again and his head was out! LaMonica said, "A face! He's looking right at me!" No wonder I'd had such back pain, he was posterior. There was a pause while I waited for another contraction, and it felt like a long, long time to me. Then the next contraction came, I made a loud animal sound, and pushed as hard as I could and he was out! LaMonica handed him right to me and he was . . . beautiful. Perfect. Sharon said, "Look at his dimple!" My Mom dabbed her eyes. I couldn't believe he was out!

I can't even begin to express how much this birth meant to me. We tried for so long to conceive this child, and then once I was pregnant I bled so much I was sure I was losing him. Then there was a little scare with his kidneys and heart, which turned out to be nothing, and all along the stress of feeling totally unhappy and unsettled with our care provider (first doctor, then midwife, then another doctor, then finally LaMonica). So much uncertainty about God's will for where to deliver this baby, and much, much prayer about it. In the end though, I got my heart's desire and my baby was born in the comfort of our own home!

Having a baby at home meant so much more than just the logistics of it, though those were important to me too (not having to worry about making it to the hospital in time, being away from my kids, having the kind of birth I wanted technically speaking, etc.). For me, a huge part of wanting a home birth was about the kind of care I wanted. I hated the steriity of seeing a doctor for 5 minutes a month to prepare for one of the biggest events of my life. I hated knowing that if I delivered in a hospital, one of the most intimate moments of my life would be shared with nurses (and likely a doctor) I'd never met before and would never see again. Instead, I developed a special friendship with LaMonica through hours of visiting at my prenatal appointments - not just about my pregnancy and the baby but about parenting and life in general. I felt connected to the person who would make sure my baby made a safe entrance into the world, felt cared for by her, and that was a difference I hoped for but wasn't sure I could really expect. I'm very relational and didn't want to put unrealistic expectations on a care provider, but she was everything I hoped for and more. I can't believe how much it meant to me that she cared for me from the start to the very, very end - she stayed by my side long after the baby was delivered, kneeling next to me when I felt like I might pass out when I got out of the bath and sat on the toilet waiting for the placenta. She helped me upstairs (I was leaning on Alif) and into the bed to go ahead and deliver the placenta there. She tended to the baby while I rested, then checked me out, then helped me get into and out of the shower. I just felt absolutely and completely cared for, and it means so much to me that I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Every woman deserves to have births that reflect what a monumental life experience it is, not to just be a cog in a machine. I have not had bad birth experiences in the hospital, but my needs were the same to the staff as every other mother's who delivers there. There's no room for specific desires in birth when you're in the routine of a hospital. I am so thankful to have had such a wonderful home birth!!

There are some things that we've laughed about a lot now that the labor is over. Alif and LaMonica were pouring water over me constantly at the end, using cups. I felt the pressure of Alif dipping the cup into the water and said, "You have GOT to get the water more gently." LaMonica said she had to try so hard not to laugh when she looked at his face, and she was like, how can he get it more gently? ROFL Or when I was nearly at the end of my ability to cope with labor and said so, and Alif said, "You can do this, Emily. You've got mad skills." And I said, "stop it!" Then LaMonica laughed and I said, "Stop laughing." LOLOL Oh man, I do get demanding in labor - but I'm very proud to say that I did not cuss this time, not even once!! YAAAAAAY!

Anyway, that's my birth story. We're all doing really well and I hope to report on a name for mister handsome baby very soon!

40 weeks, 2 days

I guess you could say I'm overdue. I'm sure the baby doesn't feel like he's overdue, he's just not finished growing yet. I feel overdue. I am snippy and moody and tired and ready to have him. But not today or tomorrow since it would be really, really inconvenient for my midwife. In fact, as long as we're overdue, I'd love him to hang in there until Monday. Sunday is our turn to work in the nursery, and that's one of my favorite things, so I'd like to be able to do that.

We finished two weeks of every-single-day schoolwork! I'm proud of myself for being so consistent and of the boys for working hard and learning so much in just two little weeks. Caris is adament that it's time for her to start some bookwork of her own, so I am going to see about one of those big preschool workbooks at Wal-Mart. This week we did phonics and math each day - next week we will add handwriting. Of course when the baby comes things will be a little strange but we'll try to stay on schedule as much as possible.

One of Caris' top teeth is turning gray. I took her today to the dentist who's our actual provider with our insurance. It was not promising. He said to just watch for any "pum" (bump? Pus?) on her gums and if I notice any to bring her in and then they would need to pull the tooth. Wonderful. Now do I see about paying hundreds out of pocket to a pediadontist that we actually trust, or do we just watch her tooth die and have it pulled and there's my beautiful girl with a tooth missing for the next 5 years? :*( I hate money issues and insurance issues and especially really bad dental insurance issues. Blah!

I am really grouchy today. Sorry!

I really love my family

I love my husband. He is the hardest worker I know and he complains less than anyone I know. Maybe to a fault. His knee is bothering him but he mentions it so rarely that I forget. I need to get him in with a doctor. Anyway, he always works hard but this move has him working EXTRA hard. He is wholly devoted to finishing every last detail with the house, and he also has to work hard outside the house so that he can keep paying the bills. He loves his work and it's a good thing because it's nonstop. Then he gets home and attends to all of the little details that need fixing here. Like last night, I'd mentioned over the last few days a few things that were not working properly and he fixed them all. The dishwasher purrs along now (he even loaded and ran it last night!), he replaced the garbage disposal and fixed the leaks under the sink, and fixed the phone, which placed outgoing calls fine but when someone would call, it would ring once and then hang up. All of that is now fixed!

I love my children. They can push my buttons like no one else can, but they are also dearer to me than anyone else (outside of Alif). They are every one of them so smart and so kind. Every one of them seeks out ways to make the others happy. Today Malachi came up the stairs as I was putting Graham & Caris down for nap/quiet time and said, "Can I give Graham this calculator for quiet time?" Just this morning they were in a yelling battle over that calculator, and here big brother is ready to just willingly give it over - and his Pixter too. They do things like this all day long for each other, and I tend to focus more on the times they are yelling or crying. I need to focus more on the bulk of the time when they are offering themselves to one another in love!

In pregnancy news, well, there's no news. HA! Sharon calls every few days to check in and I really like that. Last night while I was watching TV I had sharp, shooting pain in my cervix that made me rear up from my seat. VERY uncomfortable - no, downright painful. *Today* I'm uncomfortable. LOL My back and legs hurt and I'm just all-around uncomfortable. I think I'm allowed to just blatantly complain like that at almost 40 weeks (tomorrow) pregnant.

I am so, so, so loving being in our new home!! We are *this close* to being totally unpacked (got the dining room done last night) and my cleaning schedule is working out really well. It's hard to say how it will all be with a new baby in the house, but with only a room or two a day to focus on I think it will go fine. I have been caught up on laundry since we moved in and that alone is a big help. It requires diligence, both washing and putting away daily, at least a couple of loads (usually about 4 though) but it's so nice always having something to wear and never looking at piles of laundry on the floor.

2 more days!

I can't believe it, I'm only 2 days from my due date! Wouldn't it be fun to know exactly when he plans to make his big arrival? Alas, I'll just have to wait and wonder. My midwife came today and everything still looks great. He's very low and she said his head feels tiny. LOL! I guess he may take after Alif and Malachi in that regard??

We have been in the house nearly two weeks, and I'd say we're nearly settled too. Alif is continually fixing/finishing little details here and there. Right now he's getting his garage all organized, a big passion for him. ;-) I'm almost done with the unpacking too. I can't wait till there's not a single box left. LOL The kitchen and dining room are in a perpetual mess with the boxes and not really having places to put things, so I'd really like to get that resolved in the next couple of days.

So that's about it. No baby, working on the house . . . that's life these days! Oh! We did get back to our schoolwork last week. Phonics only but we did it every day, and this week I added math. Yay us!

It's a Yay kind of day!

I have been so bummed about the Consumer Reports car seat report, which implied that the SafeSeat I wanted was NOT so safe after all. Well, I do not like any of the Snugrides that they suggest but figured I'd better pick one anyway. Well guess what? CR pulled their report! WOO HOO! I had so hoped their report/testing was flawed in some way and apparently it was! Now I can get the darling seat I want and not feel guilty about it. :-P

Yesterday I got the master bedroom completed - no more boxes. Yay! The kitchen is totally stressing me out as the storage is a lot more limited than I thought at first glance. I guess I either need to pare down on what I am keeping or figure out a way to store everything, huh? It will be a happy day when every single box is unpacked. The boys' room is close to being finished, there are quite a few boxes in the kitchen and a few in the dining room. We've been here one week so I guess it's time to step it up and get us completely settled.

Last night I was thinking that I should set my alarm for 7:00. I'm almost always awake before then but I have been dozing until 7:30 or 8 the last few days just because of going to bed later than usual and not sleeping well. Well, no need - our neighbor's dogs bark every morning when she lets them out and today it was at about 6:15. I stayed in bed until 7:15 and then got right up and showered. Now that was a nice feeling, leaving my bedroom dressed, made up and hair done. Nice!

The kids & I did a bit of schoolwork today, Alif installed the living room ceiling fan, I filled out our change of address form for the USPS . . . all of these little details. Every day is full of them. It's nice to look back at the end of the day and remember what all got done, but each day feels so full of things still to do. I guess that's good - what sort of day would it be if we had absolutely no purpose in the day? LOL Tonight's American Idol - looking forward to watching that!

We're moved!!

We are officially moved in! Hip hip hooray!! Each day I feel like we're a little more settled, though it's slow-going getting everything unpacked and into a proper place. Only Caris' room is totally box-free. The first couple of days felt so strange and not at all like home, but now it really is starting to feel like ours.

Baby is still hanging out in the womb with 9 days until my due date. I saw the midwife today and everything's perfectly on track. I also got the last of what I need for the actual birth today so I'm feeling a lot more prepared. The baby clothes and diapers are all put in their places and I'll set up the pack & play later today. It's a good feeling having things ready to go! Sharon's home now too so now no date restrictions (LOL, as if there is any control anyway) except not on February 2 or 3 because the midwife has some important things going on those two days. Kind of scary since those days seem like complete fair game, right after my due date!

Yesterday we had a major scare with Caris. Randy & Penny (our old neighbors) were over and Penny, Malachi, Caris & I were on the back porch. Malachi & Caris were playing a tickle game and Caris spun around and fell forward into the frame of the metal security screen. She was crying hard, of course, and I picked her up and comforted her and prayed it was just her lip again (she's hit it 3 times since we moved in, poor thing). It wasn't just her lip. Her top tooth was pushed visibly back and was bleeding. I rushed in to call our family dentist, and they would not see her on an emergency basis since she hasn't been seen in their office yet. Talk about a worried, livid mommy. An hour and a half of calls and crying (and thankfully Caris napping) later, we headed for the emergency room. We waited there so long that the 4:00 appointment with the dentist was at hand, so we left the emergency room and headed over there. Chamil got us in with this office that she works for and it was a complete God-send. They were so kind and wonderful with both Caris and me. The dentist was able to push her tooth forward a little bit but said we basically need to just re-check it in 3 weeks and see how the root is doing. It really got knocked out of place. She really seems to be doing ok, not in pain or anything as long as she doesn't bite down with it, but Mommy's still a little traumatized. She looks really different to me and she hasn't gotten used to speaking with her teeth that way so she sounds different too.

Well, I keep thinking of things to blog about as the days go on but my online time is really limited. I will stop for now and come back another day. :-)

Going to be MIA

Well, moving day is officially ON for tomorrow! Alif's finishing up the moulding and doing some clean-up. Lynette & I went over and cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom today, and tomorrow I'll do the downstairs bathroom while the guys move stuff over. Alif has ONE friend helping him. I am thinking he's really going to regret not having taken people up on their offers to help. :-( Anyway, though our phone will turn on tomorrow (same number), our DSL won't be on until Thursday, so if I'm MIA it's because of that and hopefully not because I'm in labor!

Whew!

I took the kids to church tonight while Alif stayed at the new house and worked on the crown & base moulding. During worship I got a little nauseous, so I sat down and was fine. Then at 6:45 I got a contraction. Nothing painful, just tight. Thought nothing of it. Until they kept coming, every 3-5 minutes. Just after 7 I got up and got the kids from their classes and headed home. I figured if this was labor, I didn't want to take any chances that I might be driving home in active labor. I got home and called LaMonica, Alif, Lynette and my Mom and told them all what was going on. They kept coming just as often, and the last couple were slightly stronger but still not at all painful. Well, thank God, the last one came at 7:58 and then they stopped. It's 10:04 now and I'm not having any at all. I couldn't imagine what a bummer that would be to have him TWO DAYS before our planned move date! LOL The good thing about it is that I got a lot of housecleaning done. I looked around at the moving messes (boxes piled high, stacked against the walls etc.) and just daily stuff and thought - well, if I AM going to have him tonight, at least the house can be as clean as I can get it. Caris & I got the front bathroom totally clean, then I put the kids to bed and cleaned the kitchen, living room, swept the house and in the meantime did 5 loads of laundry. Not bad for a couple hours' work. LOL

And in (even MORE) house news, the kids & I moved the kitties over today! Thankfully, they were both out soaking up sunshine this afternoon so we caught them without too much hassle. CC really did NOT like that AT ALL but at least I can rest easy tonight knowing that neither one of them is out in the freezing (literally) cold. They're safely in Alif's cozy office with their bed, food, water and a litter box. Hooray! Also Caris & I cleaned the master bathroom at the new house today. It felt great getting that done!! The only other real cleaning to do before we move in is the downstairs bathroom and the kitchen. BTW it is funny calling the upstairs bathroom the "master bathroom" because it's *tiny*. It's in the master bedroom though, so master bathroom it is. I have to say that once I got in there it really did seem a lot bigger than I'd given it credit for. It's small, but it's bigger than the shower bathroom we have at this house, so yay for that. And it has a really big medicine cabinet/mirror and the under-sink storage will hold cleaning supplies, toilet paper etc. just fine. We'll just keep our towels in the closet in our bedroom, no big deal.

Alright, I guess I will wind down and head off to bed now.

Ohhh! I'm so excited!!

The kids & I just went over to the new house to have lunch with Alif. It was the first time I'd seen the floors finished, since we had to stay away while he was in the midst of that process. Oh my goooosh, it looks SO GOOD!! My husband is the most talented man I know when it comes to home repairs! I am so impressed with the work he has done! Not only do the floors look awesome, but the white base moulding makes the walls look more like the taupe I'd hoped they would look like - that contrast just really helps bring out the wall color. I am so happy!! Somehow with the floors all finished it's much easier to visualize what the house will look like with our own things in there. It will be so much fun to arrange all the rooms. The only thing I'm concerned about is Caris & the baby's room - I'd planned to put their beds (well, bed and crib, for now) against the far walls, parallel to one another, but that would put baby's crib right next to mini-blinds, which wouldn't be safe. We'll just have to get all the furniture in there and play with it, see what will work. How very, very exciting this is!

TWO days!

Seriously, two days till move day. Wow! The floors have been finished for a couple of days, and yesterday Alif painted all the doors, crown moulding and base moulding and started installing it. Today I'm going to go buy some litter & a litter box and try to capture our stubborn kitties and put them in the downstairs over there. Yesterday I packed three boxes, and I have one started so far today. Lots to do!

5 days

Our move-in date has been moved to next Tuesday, but even still, that's just 5 days away. House progress is good! Alif's almost done with the floors. Tomorrow they'll be finished and then we'll give them a day to dry before walking on them.

As for packing, my friend Liz came over and helped me pack and move the kitchen a few days ago, and that kicked my heinie *big time*. I had absolutely excruciating back pain all the rest of the day, to the point that I literally could hardly walk by bedtime, and the first time I woke up to use the restroom, I cried because it hurt so much to turn over. The next morning it was just as bad until I took a shower, then it started to get better. Now it's back to its normal painful but not a huge problem state.

I am back and forth between feeling at peace and totally anxious about when this baby is going to come. The earliest I've ever been was a week early, but each baby has their own time frame, you know? Last night while I was watching TV I was having quite a few contractions - nothing painful, but I was just thinking, maaaaan please don't come right *now*! The house is messy, half of our baby stuff is at the new house . . . Also Sharon (our Bradley teacher) will be out of town on the 16th - 22nd and I'd really like to have her there, so I am hoping he doesn't come then either. Any time after the 22nd would be fine though - we'll be in the new house and ready. My birth kit came the other day and that was a relief! I need to make a list of people to call when it's time, and put the midwife's phone number in my cell phone in case I realize I'm in labor while I'm out and about. If my labor is anywhere near as fast as it was with Caris, we'll have no time to spare. I hope I go into labor while I'm at home.

Darn the pee

Caris wears a pull-up at nighttime and just now (7:27 am) she came up to me, gave me a hug, then felt her pull-up. In a disappointed voice she said, "ohhh, I peed it. I didn't want to pee it . . . " and ran off to throw it away. Poor her! LOL

One week and counting

We're one week away from our planned move-in date. Alif completely redid the staircase and it looks amazing. Last night and today he's finishing up sanding, and hopefully tonight he can put down the first coat of varnish. It's all coming together!

Yesterday the kids & I packed up the boys' entire room and moved it over - everything except their furniture and clothes. It was a lot of work but we were sure proud of ourselves when we were done, and it will be so nice for them to start out with such a well-organized room! We're working on Caris' room today and hopefully will get her stuff moved over this afternoon.

We had Alia's Birthday party earlier today. It was a lot of fun and I have to admit that my favorite part was the buffet food at the pizza place. They have a salad bar, amazing pizza (I had garlic pesto, garlic & olive oil, and alfredo) and a pasta and dessert bar. Mmmm. Mid-party Caris & I left to pick up some boxes from my Mom's house. We went back and spent about another hour. It was so neat to me to see how independent the boys have gotten. They're old enough now that they can go get their own food and drinks and even go to the game area without us right there with them. That's a definite plus to their growing!

So this afternoon we'll move stuff over and also go over to Fred & Juanita's to celebrate Yuri's Birthday. Busy day!

I was tagged by Tammy

Name three things:

* that you had hanging on your tree:
candy canes
ornaments
lights

* that you’ve eaten / drunk lots of:
Water
Peppermint ice cream
Oranges

* that you said most often this Christmas
"Can you believe God sent his son for US?"
"Any news about Megan?"
"I'm so tired."

* that you heard most often this Christmas
"can I have a candy cane?"
"when are we getting our tree?"
"it's only xx many days until Christmas!"

* that you’ll *never* do again
Be pregnant at Christmastime
Be apart from my sister when one of us is having a baby - I hope!
Not save money - I want to be able to buy things guilt-free!

* that you didn’t do this year but hope to do next year
Have a Christmas party with our friends
Decorate the house right after Graham's Birthday
Do more Christmas crafts/activities

* favourite presents this year
Nursing bras from Alif
Make-up and fun goodies from Mom
Baby money from Dad

* that you’re glad you didn’t get for Christmas
a cold
a premature baby
food poisoning
I asked Caris and she said, "Peanuts, 'cuz I'm allergic to peanuts" What a smart girl!

36-week prenatal

LaMonica came over for my 36-week checkup today. I gained two pounds in the last two weeks, which puts me two pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. He's measuring a little big this week - she said she would guess him around 7 pounds already! Woah babuy. She also said that she's going to talk to Sharon about being her assistant for my birth, which would absolutely thrill me. I love Sharon and would hire her as my doula if I could, but I can't afford it. Also she lives about 5 minutes away from me, so I love the idea of her being able to get here so quickly.

House update

I'm sure it's soooo exciting to read about every little thing going on at my new house. LOL! Alif sanded the bedrooms yesterday, and today he is laying the new floor in the living, dining room and hallway. Maybe he'll even be totally finished sanding by the end of the day!! Yay!

Graham loves dogs

We went over to my friend Cyndi's house tonight and the kids loved playing with her dogs. In the car on the way home Graham said, "Mommy, I just love all kinds of dogs. No matter what kind of dog it is, I just wanna have a little pet of it."

House update

I'm not sure what I last updated on the house, but it sure has come along! Alif tore out two closets to make the living room way bigger, took out an entire wall to open up the kitchen, made the hall and kitchen entrances a little different with 45 angles on the upper corners, installed a soffit and recessed lighting in the living and dining rooms . . . hired a crew to do all the mudding and texturing. Then he took two days and prepped the bedrooms, hallway, living and dining for painting. Today he sprayed all of it! I haven't seen the living, dining or hallway done yet but he did the ceilings white, bedrooms off-white, and living, dining and hallway will all be taupe except the soffit will be a darker taupe. All of the trim is white. How great to have all of that done before we move in! He'll do some outside work (at someone else's house) for the next two days, and then it's on to the floors! Once the floors are done we can start moving things over, though he'll spend a couple of days putting up ceiling fans, base and crown moulding and finishing up details like switch plates etc. It's sure a lot of work but boy does this make me so thankful for my super-talented husband! Our goal is to be in by the 15th. Please baby boy, do not make an early appearance!! If ever there was a time to go a little overdue (a week would be perfect LOL) this is it!

Caris

Caris crawled into bed with me this morning and gave me a little arm rub. She said, "Mommy, your muscles are squishy. You need to drink more milk."

Later we cleaned her room and then I read some books to her. In the middle of the first book she said, "Can you pause it? I want to get one of my babies."

My new nephew!!

How darling is my new nephew, Christian James? He was born on December 17, 2006. Congratulations Megan and Jason!

Christian James

A New Baby!

I just got the news that Megan has given birth to Christian James at 7pm their time, 11 am our time! Praise the Lord! I can't wait to know more details and to see his precious little face!

The 12 Days of Homeschooling

I'll skip all the precursors and just start with the 12th day. Also I'm adding notes of my own below. Sing to the 12 Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, Can they
go to college, I could never do that, what about graduation, they'll miss
the prom, why do you do this, look at what they're missing, how long
will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, What about P.E., do
you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool
legally?

On the thirteenth day of homeschool I thoughtfully replied: They can
go to college, yes you can do this, they can have graduation, we don't
like the prom, we do it cuz we like it, they are missing nothing, we'll
homeschool forever, WE ARE NOT STRANGE!, We give them P.E.,
and we give them tests, they are socialized, AND WE HOMESCHOOL
LEGALLY!

On the fourteenth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, How
can I get started, why didn't you tell me, where do I buy curriculum,
when is the next conference, WILL PEOPLE THINK WE'RE
STRANGE? I think we can do this, if you will help us, we'll join a
sports team, and we'll homeschool legally.

Ok, back to me. I can't tell you how many times I've heard all of those questions and comments. LOL The only things I would change are that our homeschool organization throws an amazing prom and there's no need for tests (at least up to this point - my oldest is in 3rd grade this year) because I'm the one teaching them, and it's pretty clear whether they know the material and are ready to move on.

7 more weeks!

Warning: Snoozer

I warned you! We did not have a super exciting weekend, but because I'm too lazy to write in my journal, I'll just type about it here. On Saturday we got up and Alif went to work. I took Malachi and Caris over to Fred & Juanita's and Graham & I took Mom & Rod to the airport bus. I felt sentimental saying goodbye to them, even for just two weeks! I was excited for their Scotland trip though, and it does sound like they're having a fun time. I wish my whole family could be there right now. Megan is due today and I absolutely ache to be near her. I can't believe I won't get to hold her baby until he's well out of the infant stage. Sigh.

I went back and picked up the kids and I do not remember what happened after that. Ha! Sunday morning we pretty much just kicked around the house (love that, don't you Mom?). We took naps and then we were busy the rest of the day. Ellie had a make-up Birthday party at 3:30 (she was sick for her actual party last week, poor baby!), then we went to church at 6, then to Fred & Juanita's for pizza, welcoming Chamil home and for them to give Graham his Birthday present, a scooter that he's loving.

I was so happy when we got home, got the kids in bed, and then I really wanted to veg but have felt convicted not to watch Desperate Housewives - well, I turned on the TV and there was an extended version of Extreme Home Makeover on! Despite the lady saying, "Oh my GOOOOD!" 100x at least, it was a really cute episode. That ended and I went to bed and read Raising Great Kids for a bit. I should say I re-read it. LOL

This morning I woke up to my stupid, stupid iHome BLARING at 5:27 am. It did that yesterday too. Mental note: figure out why iHome is blasting off at 5:27 am. Started doing a little cleaning, talked to Mom & Megan on the phone for a while, and then did phonics & handwriting with the boys. Now doing some more cleaning and then will finish up our schoolwork for today - grammar, math and science.

I told you it was a snoozer, but hey, it's our life! :-D

New Look

http://www.myspace.com/hiskids37

Baby Talk

The kids and I were in line at Costco's food area today and I got into a conversation with a lady:
Lady: Are they twins? (the boys)
Me: They're 20 months apart, but they've been mistaken for twins from day one. :-)
Lady: Are you due January/February?
Me: Yep!
Lady: Another boy?
Me: Yes!

Funny, isn't that? She really called it!

Also, yesterday I asked Caris, "Why is Mommy's tummy so big?" and figured she would answer something like because there's a baby in there. She answered, "Because our baby boy is growing bigger and bigger!" Quite precisely, my dear! LOL

New House Developments

Alif is working hard on our new house! I keep forgetting to take my camera when I go over to see the work, and that's too bad because every time I go it really looks different. Today's new developments are: the soffit is almost finished being framed, the electrical is done, and he put in 45s on the hall doorway and the new entrance to the kitchen. A not-so-happy development is that he had someone tear out an uneven brick pathway from the upper patio to the lower patio. I loved that pathway! It needed to be re-laid, but we won't get to that for a while, and now there's just a dirt slope. Poo! We will not be in before Christmas, but he assures me we'll be in before Baby comes. I'd rather be in the house before Christmas, but I'd rather move after Christmas, so it works out well. :-)

Happy 7th Birthday, Graham!

How old are you today? Seven
How tall are you? I don't know.
How much do you weigh? I don't know.
What is your favorite TV show? Avatar
What's your favorite toy? Scooter
Do you have a scooter? No
What do you want to be when you grow up? I don't know.
do you have any ideas? No
Do you want to learn any foreign languages? Yeah.
Which ones? Scotland. And French.
What's your favorite music? French music.

Say it isn't SO!!

My Mom e-mailed me tonight to see if I knew where to get The Teddy Bear Calendar by the Bialoskys. She's gotten it for me every year since the first one 25 years ago! I checked the calendar to see if there was anything on there about it, and there IS. A note saying thank you to all of the owners who have entered and shared their bears over the years, and there will not be a teddy bear calendar contest next year. OH NO!! :*(

It's back :(

Caris' eczema cleared up after the appointment with the allergy specialist this summer, and she's had only minor breakouts since. Well, it is back full force. Poor baby! :-(

Sad iPod = Sad Me

Boo hoo. My iPod is sad, and apparently that is a $274.00 repair. Ummm, I can buy one brand new for less than that. So I guess we can say that my iPod has officially bit the dust. Bummer!!

Vacation and Moving

I so enjoyed our time at the beach, and one of the things I enjoyed the most was having a neat, clean "home" to return to each evening. The day we left, we cleaned the whole place so it would be good as new for the next group of relatives coming to stay. It was actually fun cleaning it! It really made me start to think of ways I can make our actual home feel sort of like a vacation home. Obviously, our real home holds so much more stuff than a vacation home does, but there are ways to make that stuff organized and cute. Like, the books next to my bed could be cute in a basket instead of in an always-scattering stack. The papers on my desk should be sorted and filed, not just stacked up. Toys have their places and should be put there. You get the idea. Moving is such a great time for me to be thinking of all of this, because as we move things over I can make sure each thing actually has a place and doesn't get just shoved in somewhere.

Beach Trip II

Caris did not play in the water but had a great time playing in the sand!












Malachi and Graham, however, had a grand time playing in the water. All the way in the water. LOL












Each of the kids got a chance to fly the kite















All of that running and playing really wears a girl out!












Georgia and Dad were such good sports, coming along on all the child-oriented activities and eating at our favorite fish n chips place. We loved having them all to ourselves for a couple of days!











"Look Mommy! Daddy made me this horsie!"

Thanksgiving Beach Trip

One of our favorite restaurants is in Morro Bay. They have great fish n chips, and the kids love this big whale out front. Caris got a little nervous once she was up on it and clung close to Daddy.










As we walked down Morro Bay's main street, Caris found this little shark friend and said he wanted some of her candy stick. She was very generous sharing it with him, and she said he liked it very much.










Alif got the kite up in the air in no time flat, and later told me he's never flown a kite in his life!












Graham (and all of the kids) ran with joyful abandon along the beach. They'd have played the entire three days right on the sand if we had let them!










Mommy forcing a pose under the pier.

It's a Free Saturday!

On Halloween Malachi took this cute picture of me kissing my sweet "Cleo".











And here's the growing baby bump at 28 weeks! Don't mind my "mommy scars". LOL














Today is the first day we haven't had soccer in 10 weeks! It's been so nice and quiet today. I've gotten quite a bit of sewing and cleaning done. Hooray!

Oatmeal Madness

I made some oatmeal for lunch and it looked SO GOOD! It was fully decked out with butter, plump raisins, milk, and brown sugar, and as I walked away from the counter I dropped it!! Let me tell you, that was ONE BIG MESS!! It made me so mad I actually threw my spoon! (Hormonal maybe?) Geez, I am normally so not volatile at all. ROFL Thank God the kids weren't in the room!!

Spring Forward, Fall Back

Just in the last four or five days, I think this baby has had a big growth spurt! I am only 6 months pregnant, and I suddenly feel more like 8 months pregnant. My belly is in the way when I bend over, when I tie my shoes, even when I squat! Wow. I told Alif the other day that I don't know how women do it 7, 8 times. This is only baby #4 and I feel huge at 6 months! On the plus side though, it's absolutely wonderful rolling over in bed and seeing my large belly with its protruding belly button, or catching a glimpse of my growing self in a reflection, or feeling him move so big and strong now. The excitement is definitely building! Only three more months until we meet the newest member of our family!

The time change was this past Sunday. I was so looking forward to that extra hour of sleep, but of course I should have realized that with little children in the house, that wasn't bound to happen. Caris woke up bright & early for a few days, and now I think we're all back to a normal sleeping schedule. (Well, as normal as it gets for me at this stage of pregnancy). One thing though - being up earlier and it getting dark so early makes for days that feel VERY, VERY long.

ROFL

Caris just came up to me and said, "Did you sleep on your bed with your husband?" ROFL ROFL

Photo Update

We went to a local family farm with our homeschool group and the kids had such fun picking pumpkins and apples, playing in a kiddie pool full of dried corn, going on a hayride and through a big maze made of hay bales. Here's Caris, Emma, Ellie, Graham and Malachi














Pretty Caris, all snuggly in her sweatshirt at a soccer game











Me, looking WAY bigger than I felt at 24 weeks (I'm 26 weeks now)














Graham hanging out between soccer games














I heard a slam today, then Caris' loud cries and I knew right away she'd busted her lip. Sure enough, poor thing! She's smiling through the pain though:

Crock Pot Roast

Crock Pots are so great. I put a roast in this morning with carrots, potatoes, onion and seasonings, and now at not even noon, it smells divine. The only problem is that I want to EAT it now and it won't be ready until dinnertime. Aaa!

So we have gone back to plan A and we're having this baby at home! It's even more exciting this time around because we really prayed about the decision and now not only can I look forward to a wonderful birth but I also have total peace about it. All of the stress I've been feeling about the bad hospital situations has disappeared and it feels good!

Alif told me the other day that he'd like to be moved in to our new house by Thanksgiving. That seems awfully rushed to me but as long as we're settled in before Baby makes his appearance I'll be happy.

Speaking of Baby, he still does not have a name. I do not want to end up in another Graham-like experience of having no name for days after his birth!! I guess that's another thing to take to God in prayer!

About a week ago Caris came out of her room and said it stunk in there because someone was smoking outside. I thought that sounded really strange, so I went in to see what was going on. She had put her lamp on the floor with a book on top of it! The lampshade was melting and the book was blackened through. Thank God it didn't catch on fire, but what a scare. I had to think a minute so as to not scare her out of her mind about fire, but to let her know how serious that was. Well, apparently I went too far because for days she wouldn't go NEAR her room alone, and cried herself to sleep at night even with us checking on her every few minutes AND leaving her door open and the hall light on. Yesterday Alif bought her a Glo Worm and it seems to have helped her a lot last night. She did wake up at 4:24 needing to go potty though. That child wakes me up more at night, I tell you what. Malachi & Graham never have done this. I mean, since they were babies & slept through the night, I just plain & simple don't hear from them till morning. I hope this night-waking thing with Caris doesn't last long! When I got up this morning to take her potty, all I could think was how bad it would be if there was a baby nursing or sleeping in my bed and there SHE goes crying. Oh please, not two kids up in the night. Please!

Be Magnified

This song is my heart's cry in so many areas! Oh Lord, be magnified in my life!

Be Magnified

I have made you too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me!
And I have believed in the lie
That you were unable to help me
But now, Oh Lord, I've seen my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And with my heart and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

Be magnified Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing you can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on you
Be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

I have leaned on the wisdom of men
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of your love and your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I've seen my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And with my heart and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Oh Lord, be magnified

Lord, let your glory fall

Last night we were having wonderful worship at church. It was an especially small group at the evening service, but worship was clearly heart-felt and spirit-filled. There was a song about seeing God's glory, and our pastor mentioned something about seeing God in His full glory, and imagine how that will be. Suddenly 1 Corinthians 13:12 came to mind: Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. As I thought of this verse, God revealed a sweet thing to me. I thought of how much I love this baby I'm carrying and how connected I feel to him. Many, many times during the day I feel him move and feel overwhelmed with the feeling of "I love you, son!" I thought of how much I love him already, and I have certainly only seen a poor reflection of him so far - 2-D images of his sweet legs, feet, profile in ultrasounds, my tummy going bumpety-bump when he moves, and just the sheer imagination of what he will look like. Then I thought of my experience with each of my other babies: seeing their downy hair for the first time, their eyelashes, their plump, pink skin, smelling their sweet breath, hearing their coos and cries, what it's like when my lips brush their cheek, their neck, their toes. There's just no comparison. It would take a volume of books to even begin to describe what it is like to be a mother and to hold a baby in one's arms. Then back to that verse, that says that we see Christ now only as a poor reflection in a mirror . . . wow. I think of my most intense moments of worship, of adoration, of the knowledge that my God is truly awesome . . . and that is only a poor reflection? I'm pregnant with anticipation.

Tired

I had a cold over the weekend and I feel a lot better today, but totally exhausted. I hate the feeling of lots of things I'd like to be doing but no energy to do them.

The kids kept fighting over every little thing, so I made some playdough and now they're happy as clams, working on their cherry-scented creations at the table. Hooray for simple pleasures.

Movin' Right Along

This baby has obviously grown! I can feel him moving all day long, and all over my belly! Wouldn't it be fun to be hooked up to an ultrasound machine all day long and watch him at his antics in there?

And in other moving news, Alif is over at our new house today, fixing things, tearing out carpet, etc. How exciting!

More great news!

So I went to a perinatologist yesterday to do a re-check of Baby's kidneys and heart. Everything checked out wonderfully! Baby is healthy as can be. Praise the Lord! He is growing beautifully. I especially loved how chubby his little legs are getting! And yes, he flashed his manhood several times - definitely all boy in there. I cannot wait to see his sweet little face!

Heart of my Heart

Malachi started complaining of chest pain about six months ago, just every once in a while. For a few weeks though, it was daily at least and we decided it was time to mention it to our pediatrician. She scheduled us for an EKG and chest x-ray the same day and referred us to a pediatric cardiologist out of town. Alif took him to that appointment today, where the doctor performed an echocardiogram and gave Malachi a clean bill of health! He gave Alif and Malachi various reasons the chest pain could be happening, none of them serious and none of them requiring any action unless the chest pains worsen or start to disrupt his daily life. Great news!

Intensity

I knew Malachi was intense from before he was born. After all, I progressed from 2 cm to 10 cm in less than 10 minutes of transitional labor. When he was not quite able to crawl, and he'd yowl every time I dared take a single step away from him, I felt his intensity. When he was two years old and defying me with every fiber of his being, he was intense. Years have gone by and with those energy-draining baby and toddler years in the past, Malachi's really channeled his intensity into activities that are much more enjoyable, which means, in my humanity, that I don't notice it as much. He's a mostly quiet boy, especially around people he doesn't know very well.

The first year Malachi played soccer we were pleased if he got one touch on the ball in a game. He liked to play, but he just wasn't aggressive at all. I wished he'd be himself out there, but the truth was, his shyness took over and he was just too nice. The second year was better for him, and he usually kicked the ball a few times per game. Last year he was like a different player. He'd get in the action and really play hard. With Daddy as his coach, he blossomed and had a great year. It's now his fourth year and that kid can really play. I mean, he's one of the best players on his team, and also one of the youngest. He is serious about soccer, and he's easily the best defender in every game we've watched this season. He's not at all afraid to step in front of a boy twice his size and steal the ball.

Today though, there was a really amazing moment in the game. Both teams were playing aggressively, and there was a bit of foul play going on that the ref wasn't noticing. Just as Malachi ran close to us on the side of the field, flanked by two elbowing players from the opposite team, my son glared at them and said, "Hey! No pushing!" and kept about his play. I have tears in my eyes just writing about it. It was the first time I looked at my son with true admiration. I could never confront someone that way, stand up for myself so clearly. In that moment, his short life flashed before my eyes - his angry cries when I dared leave him in the nursery at church, his defiant eyes when I disagreed with his plans as a toddler . . . and the words of dear friends of ours, Jim and Ginny Smith, when I was about to give up: "You will be so thankful someday that God has blessed your son with a strong spirit." If it took 8 years and an AYSO soccer game to prove them right, it's ok. What a miracle to have a glimpse into the intense, strong, true and fair spirit of my unbelievable boy. I'm so proud of you, son.

MomTime

A while back I came across the concept of MomTime by Lisa Whelchel. The basic idea is to get a group of Moms together and just have fun! Well actually, friends, food, faith and fun. I prayed about it and kept getting more excited about the idea, so I called Lynette and she agreed that it sounded really nice. We invited a couple of moms and had our first MomTime today! I was nervous about making all the details come together, but we had such a great time! The first hour is the food/faith hour, where we just eat the lunch and talk, and the second hour is the friends/fun hour, where we bust out a game and play. I am not a big game person but oh goodness, we had a blast! I can't WAIT till the next one!

19-week checkup

I went in for my 19-week checkup today (well, I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow). Caris came with me, which was nice. I'm always happy to have a little time alone with one of my kids! It occurred to me on the way there that this is the first appointment of this pregnancy that was totally routine. Nothing to be nervous about, not a new doctor or anything, just a routine appointment. What a relief that is! Everything looks good! I gained SIX POUNDS in the last month, which puts my total at -8 pounds. Baby's heartbeat sounds good, and I got the lab slip to go for the glucose tolerance test in a week. Oh joy. LOL Later this week I have an appointment with a doctor who specializes in high-risk ultrasounds. We just want to take a good look at the heart and kidneys to make sure everything is ok there. I hope everything is all cleared up.

Oh happy day!

Yesterday was my Birthday! It started off a little poo-ey because I'm apart from my sister. We share a Birthday and I haaaaaaaaaate when we're not together for it! I got up and there was a sweet note that Alif had left before he went to work, so that was nice. I did some cleaning and got ready, and then my Mom showed up! She is like, the Birthday Dreams Fairy, seriously. She showered me with love and affection and gifts the ENTIRE DAY. I can't even describe how special she made the day! I came home and rested a bit and then Mom & Rod came over to further the Birthday spoiling with a huge bag of candy, pizza (we found out that Megan had Domino's in Scotland for her Birthday so we HAD to do it too!!) and cake & ice cream. It was scrumptious and delightful. Graham gave me two little notes he had written me during nap, and the effort he went to to write them made me want to cry. What sweet kids I have!!

So anyway, I got up this morning and felt like I really just did not want to do today AT ALL. We had to go to the store and then there was park day and I was so pooped from all the Birthday fun, I just couldn't face it. Nonetheless, we went off to the store and guess what? I had made my menu for every meal and snack and expected to go over my max, but I was $20 under it! Praise God! We got home and I rushed to get the pasta salad ready for park day, and figured I may as well put the stew in the crock pot too. Park day was actually a ton of fun! I'm soooo glad we went. We stayed quite a bit longer than I planned to, and when we got home, the smell of that stew cooking made me feel comforted immediately. Dinner is ready, and it's only 3:00! It'll only get tastier as the next few hours pass by, too. Man, for a day that started out with such a bad attitude, it's turned out to be a huge blessing.

Good morning, Baby!

I awoke this morning to Baby's kicking, rolling, thumping. I thought to myself, "What could be a sweeter way to wake up?" Well, as I sit here now I can't help but think that a sweeter way to wake up would be to see his precious face next to mine, his fuzzy head waiting for caresses, his hand trying to appease the will to nurse . . . oh yeah, all of that will be sweeter. But for now, little one, your movements will have to suffice!

Oscar the Grouch

I'm so grouchy. Not all the time, and not in a horrible, life sucks kind of way, but just enough to feel really NOT like myself. I'm so HOT and so tired of being hot (even in my air-conditioned, comfy house I'm hot!). My Mom promises it will cool down the week after my Birthday. I sure hope she is right! The kids can be playing and one minute I think they're darling in their exuberance, and the next minute I am saying to them, "If you have to make that noise, please go somewhere else to do it." I guess they're being well-trained in the art of dealing with hormones.

On a positive note, I have been buying a few diapering things here & there for Baby! It is so much fun perusing for BOY diapers! So far I've bought one AIO, 3 covers and 2 dozen preemie prefolds. I can't wait until they start arriving. Oh, I also bought him a cute Gymboree outfit on eBay for really cheap. It's so fun starting to collect these things!! On Sunday we worked in the nursery, and it was so sweet being with all of those babies. It made January feel like a year away, though. I am hoping that with all that fall brings, time will go by a lot more quickly now.

More about our boy!

Can you believe it? A sweet baby BOY! I am so excited!! The tech had a couple of very small concerns with the kidneys and heart, so we will recheck those in four weeks, but other than that everything looks great! ANOTHER BOY!! My Mom & the kids & I went immediately after to a local boutique and picked out a boyish 1st year calendar, baby book and she got me the prettiest diaper bag: http://petuniapicklebottom.com/product_detail.phtml?id=148 Also at the u/s, we recorded his precious heartbeat and on my birthday my Mom & I will go to Build A Bear and put the little sound button in his paw. How cute! Anyway, we are so excited!

Back from u/s . . .

Museum day

Here are just a couple of pictures from our museum trip: My kids in the animal art room









Clockwise from right: Caris, Taylor, Jordan, Courtney and Anna

Chicken Pox have left the building

Praise the Lord, the Chicken Pox are gone! You can still see just a couple marks on Malachi, a few on Graham, and tons on Caris, but they're healing nicely and no one has been contagious for quite some time. I'm very glad it's over and very sorry for anyone who goes through this - ever!

Happy Not Back to School Day!

Today's the first day of school for most kids in our city. It's a day I'm always so thankful for my kids and my husband and that our God directed us to homeschooling. :::teary moment:::

My friend Theresa e-mailed last week and invited us to the museum to celebrate not back to school day. LOL I invited Lynette, and we all went and met a couple of other people there. We had such a nice time! The kids had a ball playing in the children's museum, then we ate lunch outside, and then looked around the very old houses, offices etc. I wish I'd left after lunch, because it was hot after that and I got tired & grouchy and didn't listen to my limits. I guess it's good that we stayed though, because the kids really did like looking around the old houses and things.

I have to admit that this morning Graham was acting up and I started to get in a bad mood, and that old feeling from last year crept in, where I just wanted to stay home. But you know what? I am absolutely determined to be involved this year. I remember when we were super involved with a local group and I practically lived for Wednesday park days. Since we left that group I just haven't ever gotten back to being very involved and I don't think that is good for me or for the kids. So going today was not only fun but a great start to our new committment!

I like tickers

I love my family!

Today was a busy day. First I had my ob checkup. Everything looks great, and hooray, my u/s is in two weeks!! We're planning to find out the gender this time and I'm so excited I can hardly wait.

After that we had the first day of our new school year. The second I walked in the door Malachi said, "Can we start school now??" LOL! I made us a snack and away we went! We worked for an hour and a half and then it was lunchtime. I read to the kids until 1 and then we all napped (well, the boys had quiet time). After that we went off to the lab, where the phlebotomist took most of my blood. :-P

We got home and finished up our schoolwork, which took until 6:00. Weird day for sure. I made dinner after that and we ate - croissant sandwiches and grapes. Everyone loved it. After dinner we all cleaned until 8:30 and got the house mostly cleaned. Hooray. Put kids to bed and then crashed on the couch. Now it's Treasure Hunters time.

Woo hoo!

Ok, so I hardly ever actually say, "woo hoo!" in real life, but it feels great to write it because it's how I feel! The morning sickness has faded for the most part, and just in time, too. Now that I'm feeling better I can see what all suffered while I was sick. Like, we went grocery shopping for the first time last week (Alif had been handling that for me) and when I put away the groceries I noticed how the refrigerator was screaming to be all scrubbed out. What a difference that made!

Also, we are moving (just a couple streets away) in a few months and so I am going room to room, purging, tossing, goodwill-bagging etc. Moving has a way of making all of my accumulations so much less important to hang on to. Do I want to pack this and unpack it? Do I want to find a place for this in our new house? If the answer is no, away it goes. Some of it gives me a little sad tinge to get rid of, but if I know I'll never miss it, it's gone.

The boys did soccer camp last week and had a GREAT time. I didn't get to go since Caris was just getting over the chicken pox, but Alif went each night and it was a blast for them all. They learned a ton and it made them even more excited for the upcoming soccer season!

More and more and more pox

Even though I knew that the chicken pox incubation period is 10-21 days, I have to admit that by the end of last week, and absolutely no signs of pox on Graham and Caris, I started to feel pretty confident that they'd missed the pox. I was a little disappointed since it would be so nice to get them out of the way, but of course relieved that my littlest ones weren't getting sick.

Saturday we went to Malachi's all-stars game for baseball. Malachi made all stars! GO BOY! Malachi's not the most explosive player, but he was probably the most consistent player on his team this year. He hit every time he got up to bat the whole season! He kept up the great play and hit 4/4 at the all-stars game. His team whomped the other team, which was especially great since his regular team had lost every game throughout the season.

After the game we headed over to Brea's 9th Birthday party. The boys changed into their swimsuits, and when Graham came over to ask me where his clothes should go, what did I see but a huge, bulging chicken pox on his side! I turned him around and there were several more on his back. Yikes! Graham, Caris & I made a quick exit from the party. I thought I saw a couple little red dots on Caris but her skin is so break-out-ish anyway, who could tell. Well, when we woke up Sunday sure enough, she had several herself.

It's hard being the parent and making the decisions. We are getting about a half & half response to our choice to not vaccinate for chicken pox. Some people think we made a bad move there (why let your child suffer something when a little prick could have prevented it?) and some understand that even though it totally sucks watching them suffer, it will be better in the long run to have just had them and be done with it. Still, it totally sucks watching them suffer. Graham's face must have at least 50 of them already. I can tell his case is going to be much worse than Malachi's. Thank God for Benadryl, Tylenol, oatmeal baths, and Mommy & Daddy love.

On a positive note, I was finally able to order all of our books and art supplies for this coming school year! How fun! I also had a 3-day streak of feeling really good last week and got the dining room bookshelves completely cleaned out. What a relief! I just love looking at them now that they're restored to order.

Graham's funny

Graham to Caris, rather indignantly: Caris, if you're gonna tickle me then you need to trim your nails, and I mean a LOT, because they ITCH. They feel like a sword.

The latest & greatest

When my Dad calls he often asks, "What's the latest and greatest?" Here it is:

Malachi has Chicken Pox! We don't vaccinate for CP but it was still a bit of a surprise when the little bumps went beyond possible bug bites. Yesterday he napped for 2.5 hours and today he napped for 4. He also told me his head and tummy hurt, but all in all he's acting pretty usual. Caris is running a bit of a fever today, so it's likely she will break out too in the next few days.

As far as my pregnancy, the nausea is about the same. Some days are pretty good, some are pretty bad. I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow, so hopefully it'll start to ease up from here. I noticed today that my belly was really pouching while I laid on my back on the couch. I look much more pregnant than I actually am, but when you're overweight AND having baby #4, I guess that's to be expected. I'm not in maternity clothes yet since despite the slowly growing belly, I'm still losing weight from the nausea and vomiting.

I wrote out the list of what all I want to order for our upcoming school year, and we are all so excited! I have to admit, I'm the most excited about science. Every single lesson is a hands-on experiment. How fun will that be??

It's bearable, mostly . . .

Thank God, the nausea has NOT gotten like it was with Caris. Last week was pretty bad, but this week has been a little better. Still there's at least part of most days that I don't feel well, but my biggest complaint is that all afternoon I have a horrible taste in my mouth and the major burps. Gross, isn't it?

We had such a nice visit with Megan and Jason. I ATE UP having them here, but the joy of it all was mixed with the bitterness of not feeling up to doing what all I'd like to have done with and for them. Megan's baby shower was an absolute blast! The ladies were so sweet, the venue was gorgeous, the food was good, and Megan was blessed with some really nice things. Then the day after the shower we went to Babysightings and got to see Baby Mills swimming and wiggling and as precious as any baby could be. It was AMAZING. And we also found out that Baby Mills can now be called Christian James! We were all pretty surprised that it's a boy baby in there, but HE is DEFINITELY a BOY. Jason is so proud. :-)

Not Nausea

Ok, definitely the extreme exhaustion was WAY better than the nausea. This is inching up to being just like it was with Caris. Please, please let it not get that bad. As of now it comes in waves, with most afternoons being fairly miserable. ::::::groan:::::

7 Weeks

I hope I don't turn my whole blog into a big ol' pregnancy journal. Sorry if I do. The evening of and the evening after my ultrasound, I had quite a bit of spotting. I was so afraid I was losing the baby, but after a few days it stopped. It is interesting to admit that I'm actually thankful for the pregnancy symptoms that have set in since then. I'm having some nausea. It comes and goes and isn't anything like what I had with Caris. Thank God. I'm extremely tired, and though I'll take that over severe nausea any day, it is disheartening that it feels like 11 pm all day long. Hopefully I'll have more energy with the second trimester!

We just finished up a 2-week session of swim lessons. It was to be Caris' first swim lessons in a "big girl" class, but she was kicked out by the young, inexperienced manager 10 minutes into the second day. I was more than annoyed. Malachi and Graham both performed really well and passed all of their classes.

Baseball season is in full swing (sorry for the groan-worthy pun). I am really enjoying it this year, except for the one night I almost threw up at the field. NOT good. Know what soothed the nausea? NACHOS. HA!

Only a few days until Megan & Jason arrive in town really soon! I CAN'T WAAAAAAAIT!

Autobiography

Here's something someone posted on the January 2007 message board. Thought my blog was a more appropriate place to fill it out. LOL

Your Autobiography
Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?: Yes
Were you the first?: 2nd
Who was present at your birth?: I think just my Dad & the hospital attendants.
Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes
What is your birthdate?: 9/7

Part 2: The Family

How would you describe your family?: Succinctly? A typical American family.
Are your parents married? Divorced? Seperate?: Divorced, both remarried
Siblings or an only child?: Older brother, younger sister
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: Middle
What are your siblings names?: Jerod & Megan
Which parent do you get along with best?: Closest to my Mom, get along with both great
What do you fight about?: Hmm, don't really fight with either of my parents
Do you have step parents?: Yep, but they're not really like step parents - they're my parents' spouses.

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: I have several close friends
What do you like to do when you are together? Depends on the friend. I spend the most time with Lynette, and we pretty much walk or just hang out and talk
Do you share the same interests?: Totally!
Which friend can you tell anything to? Lynette, Megan, Liz

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: It all depends on how much I've been in the Word. If I'm distant from God I feel pretty useless.
Do you get depressed about things easily?: Sometimes
Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Hmm. I've always been more extroverted, but I find that now that I spend so much time with my kids, I can really recharge with alone time - but not too much or it makes me lonely.
Are you happy?: Mostly, yes!
Do you live life to the fullest?: Pretty sure that's a big NO. LOL But - I'm satisfied with my life completely.

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: NO!
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: No
Describe your hair? It's brown with highlights, shoulder length with long layers
What make-up do you wear?: All types. I love makeup!
How do you dress? Casual - capris, jeans with fitted tees
Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: No - what a funny question!
What did you use to love that you no longer do? Exercise
Do you have the same friends?: A few
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing? Of course

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: To follow Jesus
Are you scared of growing old?: No
Do you want to get married?: I LOVE being married!!

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Depends what I'm doing. I love swimming and walking, both outdoors. Eating I much prefer indoors - same with sleeping.
Favorite Season? Spring
Favorite weather? Warm but not hot
Do you like walking in the rain? Well, I loved it in Scotland but it rarely happens here

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegetarian?: No
What is your favorite food?: I love Mexican and Italian and sweets
What food makes you want to gag?: Coconut
What is your favorite dessert?: Dulce de Leche ice cream
What is your favorite restaurant?: Umm, Olive Garden? LOL
Are you a fussy eater? No

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: VERY taken
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl? My sweet husband
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world? Yes
Do you believe in love at first sight? Ummm, I think there was a definite chemistry right away for Alif & I, but love developed along the way

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?: Ooooh, too many. Being with Alif, dedicating my life to Jesus, moments with my kids, going to Scotland . . . I could go on and on!
What was one of your worst? Again, too many and too depressing to list LOL
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: Yes, after my car accident in 1995
Have you ever suffered from depression?: Yes, but never severe or ongoing

Scrambled Eggs

Ok, seriously? Malachi makes better scrambled eggs than I do. How's that for an exciting blog entry?

Finally sharing!!

Ok, for anyone who can't stomach menstrual details, run now! So - I had my last period on April 1. Shortly thereafter, around the end of April, I weaned Caris. I hoped that within a few months of weaning her, my body would get back to normal and I'd get pregnant. I traveled to Scotland and a few times while I was there, I wondered if I could be pregnant. I was peeing A LOT and actually got carsick on the way home from LAX. Well, no such luck, as I got a period on May 17th. Or so I thought. It was really strange because the whole period started as brown spotting and just kind of stayed that way. My Diva cup was almost empty each time I cleaned it, which is NOT at all normal. Then again, it was 8 days, which is about 2x as long as my usual period. I figured my cycles were still wacky since I'd just weaned & traveled. On May 28th I decided to start charting again. My temp was way high that day, as in post-ovulatory high. What? I was like, how can that be? My period just ended four days ago! So I figured it was a fluke, but the next morning, woah, another high temp! OMGosh! I took a pregnancy test, knowing it would be negative but really wondering what was going on. Oh ~ my ~ gosh, it was positive! We were all home, just having a relaxing, usual morning. I didn't want to tell Alif and have him get all excited until I knew exactly what was going on - what was with all that bleeding?? I had a couple days of bleeding when I first got pregnant with Graham and he was implanting, but 8 days? Oh my. 2 hours later I took TWO more tests - both definitely positive! At that point I called Alif in to take a look, and he was happy and excited and not at all nervous about the bleeding. "Bodies don't always work like we expect them to," he reassured me. I wasn't reassured. I started doing research online and was saddened to find out that one can have positive pregnancy tests long after a miscarriage. Was THAT what all the bleeding was? Why wasn't it heavier, more crampy? Why was my temp still high? I called the doctor, and went in to see the nurse practitioner on June 1. She did an internal exam and said my uterus was enlarged and soft, indicating a very early pregnancy, and ordered both an ultrasound and labwork to test my HCG levels. I had the HCG levels done that afternoon. The next morning we left for an overnight trip, and that afternoon I called the doctor's office and the lab until I could finally get my results, from the Dr. himself. He said my levels indicated a 5-6 week pregnancy, and he'd like to retest the levels on Monday and also do an ultrasound on Tuesday. I had my ultrasound this morning, and lo and behold, there was my tiniest sweet pea, heart flashing! I'm so excited and so relieved I could burst!! I'm due January 31!